~♥♥ emma's chapter of lyf ♥♥~

one in million

2011-01-06T16:52:00.000-08:00

So in love with this song to the max!! thanks my dear love..

Jet setter

Go getter
Nothing better
Call me Mr. been there done that
Top model chick to your every day hood rat
Less than all but more than a few

But I've never met one like you

Been all over the world
Done a little bit of everything
Little bit of everywhere
With a little bit of everyone
All the girls I've been with
Things I've seen it takes much to impress
But sure enough you go it makes your soul stand up from all the rest

I can be in love
But I just don't know
Baby one thing is for certain
Whatever you do it's working
All the girls don't matter
In your presence can't do what you do
There's a million girls around but I don't see no one but you

Girl you're so one in a million
You are
Baby you're the best I ever had
Best I ever had
And I'm certain that
There ain't nothing better
No there ain't nothing better than this

You're not a regular girl
You don't give a damn about your look
Talking about I can't do it for you
But you can do it for yourself
Even though that ain't so
Baby cause my dough don't know how to end
But that independent thing I'm with it
All we do is win baby

I could be in love
But I just don't know
Baby one thing is for certain

Whatever you do it's working
All the girls don't matter
In your presence can't do what you do
There's a million girls around but I don't see no one but you

Baby you're so one in a million
You are
Baby you're the best I ever had
Best I ever had
And I'm certain that
There ain't nothing better
No there ain't nothing better than this
Girl you're so one in a million
You are
Baby you're the best I ever had
Best I ever had
And I'm certain that
There ain't nothing better
No there ain't nothing better than this

Timing girl
Only one in the world
Just one of a kind
She mine

Ooh all that I can think about is what this thing could be
A future baby
Baby you're one of a kind
That means that you're the only one for me
Only one for me
Baby (girl) you're so one in a million
You are
Baby you're the best I ever had
Best I ever had
And I'm certain that
There ain't nothing better
No there ain't nothing better than this
Girl you're so one in a million
You are
Baby you're the best I ever had
Best I ever had
And I'm certain that
There ain't nothing better
No there ain't nothing better than this

Lotsa love,

emmashasha

cool night..

2010-03-26T09:45:00.000-07:00

Today, 27/03/10, almost 1am..its such a nice calm late night..i dun have anything much to say tho..just i dun want to let my blog being not updating..n i rasa now m d only one who is not sleeping yet..my bro-in-law still watching tv right nw in living room but i can hear from my room dat hes snoring loudly so i assume hes asleep while tv watching him sleeping..lols! my sister wv aleesya are sleeping next door and sometimes i can hear aleesya cry too..ciaan baby..i really haf fun with her..kisss her alot all over her face sampai ia sasak by hitting my face use her hand...soo cute of her..

While my other siblings sleepover at my brother's house..since it's empty for few weeks back..ciaan jwa nda brisi atu kan..mesti dilawat2i baa rumah atu jwa..and now m doing nothing and watching you tube comedy movies..laugh alone...haha...pasal ketawa ne jwa..i remembered when i was watching indian movie 'My Name Is Khan' at Qlap cinema..it's very funny n more to touching movie...gileeerr..nangis sakan dalam cinema dengan memakai my selindang as in mcm org india tah jwa me atu..sampai indian people pun kesian meliat diri menangis ne baa..plus..on the same time jwa i haf to close my nose psl nyaman baa their perfume atu..fuulllaamaakk...and masa we guys watching that movie too..bukan saja kami2 org yg peberet indian movie ne..kanak2 or maybe teens yg samseng tayi minyak pun meliat yo...wow! how amazing..interesting..fantastic that movie dat also can attract those kind of people..*salute yo* ..

hmm..lately ne..internet..sometimes it's getting bored..msn? fb...hmm..luckily ada fb ne..mun nda...i dun even interest to internet anymore w/o it...well for me..facebook it's kind an update any kind of news..kalah dh d real news on tv ne baa..f news on tv...nada ne psl jual kain ka perfume ka dgn harganya ka apa..org trade in ka..jual keta ka apa..apatah lagi...yg news kena censored atu..dalam fb ne semuatah kan ada..sapa jwa kan tagur unless ada orang berkenaan atu join sekaki with the who organise or establish the facebook ne..kalah dah brudirect ne..mun kan mgucap kan kaor any sarcarsm comments ka apa..dipersilakan dgn gambar sekali lagi..confirm sapa2 pun boleh tau tu jadinya..tapi abis laa belum sampai seminggu...kena bantai tia..maklum..

waahh..it's almost at 2am..and now i feel sleepy already...so u guys..enjoy your moment to da max while u still can..coz there's no time for you to enjoy later..and..set ur mind to positive switch..m sure after that ull having a very happy happppyyyy and cheerful life that u never have before...good luck..*hugs*

lots of luff,

-emma-

xoxo

watcha say~

2010-03-26T09:10:00.000-07:00

hey hey...nothing much to say..recently, i love to watch real tv show plus dancing show..i suggest u guys to watch 'So You Think You Can Dance' show..it's really exciting and wow! show...for those dat rily into dance show or something ...for sure..umpphh!! well i love to dance..it's rily fun..enjoy...and...and it's good for those who have a very great tension..nwy i want to show u guys my favourite dance with a great theme from the show..m sure u gonna love it too...enjoy!! =D *winkz!*

lots of luff,

-emma-

xoxo

the climb

2010-03-24T08:59:00.000-07:00

I can almost see it
That dream I'm dreaming but
There's a voice inside my head sayin,
You'll never reach it,
Every step I'm taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

The struggles I'm facing,
The chances I'm taking
Sometimes they knock me down but
No I'm not breaking
The pain I'm knowing
But these are the moments that
I'm going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,
I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on,

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

There's always going to be another mountain
I'm always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes you going to have to lose,
Ain't about how fast I get there,
Ain't about what's waiting on the other side
It's the climb

Keep on moving
Keep climbing
Keep the faith baby
It's all about
It's all about
The climb
Keep the faith
Keep your faith

**love this song..it gives me inspiration and spirit..love it**

lots of luff,

emma
xoxo

thin..thinner..thinnest..papan..fly..

2010-03-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

hey hey...kira punya kira banyak dah masa berjalan ne..i tink almost 10 months i'm being a jobless cute gurl *perasaan lols* not dat officially 10 months laa jwa sal few months back i did work just for a part-time worker saja in one company where famous with gadget!! and i learnt so much things about gadgetssss...phone...games...pc..laptops..wat else..cameras...fuuhh!! i love my job so much but since my contract said temporary so i had to leave..

Apa-apa pun now i love my job as a babysitter...hehe stay at home..watching her smile..watching her laugh..cries. and mcm2 ee..love aleesya!! tapi apa nah..makin jobless atu apa tu makin berisi...so while doing a best job ever in my life...i do my workout everyday..if dulu i love to jog everyday..hiking plus some light workout..but now..sudah kurus atu..shaping body saja lagi..so i do my yoga n light workout everyday morning and night..hehe really thanks to my so call trainer..masane buat sendiri saja lagi..m doing my situp from 50 times and until now i can do it for 200 times..i need to determine myself even in fever situation..ada laa jwa i miss my workout but still i manage to lose 2 kg psl damam..no appetite..

so now..m waiting for two answers..m not dat rily hoping for it...but i really wish it will happen as soon as possible..jangan kurang berdoa saja plus tawakal jwa..apa2 pun both of it can makes me smile all along.. semuanya adalah ketentuan dariNya..and kita perlu bersyukur seadanya...

lots of luff,

emma

xoxo

my 1st niece...xoxo

2010-03-24T07:40:00.000-07:00

hey hey people..i just wanna share my GREAT GREAT news! i just got my 1st babyfruit!! hehe thanks sis mawar!! hehe..well actually today is her birthday for one month..i mean d baby..happy birthday aleesya sofea..aaannndd yesterday was my sister n her hubby 1st wedding anniversary!! congratulation sis n braah in law!! wat a suweeettt great moment in march!!..n yeaa..sebenarnya i really misss my nieceeeee now!!! yatah i upload her pics ganya nda lagi sampat editing but u still verry da cuteee aleesyaa!! mwaahss!! now u can see my 1st niece sleeping n her 1st time to open her eyes watching up how world looks like *padahal nampak ceiling jwa sja and probably her cute angah..ehem..eheemm..me laa tu..lols*

-Her birthday on 24.03.2010. weight: 3.22kg. Name: Aleesya Sofea bin Sofian-

-she opened her eyes for the first time..awww...cutteee!!-

-Angah emma *me* cuba menidurkan aleesya..prikktisss...lols!*-

-alalalaa~~syg aleesya tdo keh...sshhhhh-

-she loves to sleep with her head in that way-

-ssooooo cuuutteeeee!!!c xoxox-

-aleesya always hiccup when she wants to 'uuk uuk'..yatah my mum kasi daiun sirih simpan on her forehead...n actually it shud be turn upside down..hehe-

lots of luff from ur auntie emma..

mwahmwahmwah!!

i go..

2010-03-24T07:20:00.000-07:00

So long, fare thee well
The dancer and the dancing days have taken leave and fell
So turn down this bed of stone
Quench me with the deadly nightshade from the rose that you belong

The long December rain is falling now
Running down on streets to nowhere
Music is my life youre my sweetest nightingale
But I cant hear it here no more

And I go
I go

Hush now, dont shake or break
Words have fallen silent like soldiers to the grave
No matter what they do or say
Lay me on the sleepy meadow by the tracks upon your face

lots of luff,
emma..xoxo

watcha say

2010-03-23T09:55:00.000-07:00

Wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
Of course it is

I was so wrong for so long
Only tryin' to please myself (myself)
Girl, I was caught up in her lust
When I don't really want no one else
So, no I know I should have treated you better
But me and you were meant to last forever

So let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
To really be your man
Cause when the roof cave in and the truth came out
I just didn't know what to do
But when I become a star we'll be living so large
I'll do anything for you
So tell me girl

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say)
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
Of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say)
Wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say

How, could I live with myself
Knowing that I let our love go (love go)
And ooh, when I do with one chance
I just gotta let you know
I know what I did wasn't clever
But me and you we're meant to be together

So let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
To really be your man
Cause when the roof cave in and the truth came out
I just didn't know what to do
But when I become a star we'll be living so large
I'll do anything for you
So tell me girl

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say, whatcha say)
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
Of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say, whatcha say)
Wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say

Girl, tell me whatcha said (said)
I don't want you to leave me
Though you caught me cheatin'
Tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
I really need you in my life
Cuz things ain't right, girl
Tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
I don't want you to leave me
Though you caught me cheatin'
Tell me, tell me whatcha said (said)
I really need you in my life
Cuz things ain't right

Cause when the roof cave in and the truth came out
I just didn't know what to do
But when I become a star we'll be living so large
I'll do anything for you
So baby watcha say!

Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say, whatcha say)
Mmmm that it's all for the best?
Of course it is
Mmmm whatcha say,
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say, (whatcha say, whatcha say)
Wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say..

lots of luff..emma..

say cheeseee...

2010-02-01T07:27:00.000-08:00

Lots of luff,

updates~

2010-01-23T05:23:00.000-08:00

Lots of luff

iphone..iphone..iphone..

2009-11-28T23:14:00.000-08:00

IPHONE 3Gs

Nowadays everybody want to have iphone 3Gs and it only has 2 colours for now in Asia *i really wish it has varieties of colours*. Like people now, i have money so i can buy it no matter how expensive it is and some people who lack of money, they will try so hard to buy it no matter how for achive their dreams or to keep their promise to but for love one. Well, money for them, it's nothing..just close your eyes then give the money and hold the iphone. After that, where ever you are iphone must be next to you...eat..iphone..sleep..iphone..shower..iphone..everywhere.

But the problem is now, the matter of fact, some people who want to have the iphone are want to be show off how rich are they but too bad they are really do not know how to use it..really kesiaaaaann..just buy any phone that u really like it and dun just waste your time...useless. Anyhow, for those who buy the iphone and know how to use it..good for u..but just becareful d more u download the applications the more lagging to ur iphone so use it wisely..

I just wanna share how Iphone work, actually iphone only have 1 original kind of version in what i know plg ne aa..f u want to download music, application n anything, you must have itunes. So u haf to download the latest itunes in your notebook and through itunes u can download ur apps, music etc and transfer it to your iphone. There are 2 ways to create d account which are free and u haf to pay it by your credit card. With the account, you can download any games through internet either free apps or you haf to buy it. This is the easiest way how to download the application and the second way, i rily not into it..and dey call it jailbreak which is it can crack any kind of application for free but this way it will have two kind of versions after u jailbreak it. F u lucky u can ON n OFF your iphone like as usual but f u are not , u haf to ON your iphone depending your PC. U guys can google it too how to create free account and transferring apps from itunes plus jailbreak it. So it's up to u all either u want to jail break it or not. Lagipun bukannya u al kan pakai sume the apps in one tym ryt? but for me f i haf iphone, i'm not jailbreak it or else i buy different brand of phone. Anyhoos good luck people.

lots of luff,

info untuk kalian

2009-11-28T23:05:00.000-08:00

ADAB MENDENGAR AZAN

Kematian itu pasti menjelma. Hanya masa dan waktunya yang tidak kita ketahui. Cuba kita amati. Mengapa kebanyakan orang yg nazak, hampir ajal tidak dapat berkata apa-apa.lidahnya kelu, keras dan hanya mimik mukanya yang menahan kesakitan 'sakaratul maut'.

Diriwayatkan sebuah hadis yg bermaksud: "Hendaklah kamu mendiamkan diri ketika azan, jika tidak Allah akan kelukan lidahnya ketika maut menghampirinya."Ini jelas menunjukkan, kita disarankan agar mendiamkan diri, jangan berkata apa-apa pun semasa azan berkumandang. Sebagai orang beragama Islam kita wajib menghormati azan. Banyak fadhilatnya. Jika lagu kebangsaan kita diajar agar berdiri tegak dan diamkan diri.

Mengapa ketika azan kita tidak boleh mendiamkan diri? Lantas sesiapa yang berkata-kata ketika azan, Allah akan kelukan lidahnya ketika nazak. Kita takut dengan kelunya lidah kita semasa ajal hampir tiba maka kita tidak dapat mengucap kalimah "Lailahaillallah.." yang mana sesiapa yang dapat mengucapkan kalimah ini ketika nyawanya akan dicabut Allah dgn izinNya menjanjikan syurga untuk mereka. Dari itu marilah kita sama-sama menghormati azan dan mohon kepada Allah supaya lidah ini tidak kelu semasa nyawa kita sedang dicabut. "Ya Allah! Anugerahkanlah kematian kami dengan kematian yang baik lagi mulia, lancarkan lidah kami mengucap kalimah "Lailahaillallah.." semasa sakaratul maut menghampiri kami. Amin.. amin..amin Yarobbal a'lamin.."

WASIAT NABI MUHAMMAD S.A.W. kepada SAIDINA ALI R.A.;

Wahai Ali, bagi orang 'ALIM itu ada 3 tanda2nya:
1) Jujur dalam berkata-kata.
2) Menjauhi segala yg haram.
3) Merendahkan diri.

Wahai Ali, bagi orang yg JUJUR itu ada 3 tanda2nya:
1) Merahsiakan ibadahnya.
2) Merahsiakan sedekahnya.
3) Merahsiakan ujian yg menimpanya.

Wahai Ali, bagi org yg TAKWA itu ada 3 tanda2nya:
1) Takut berlaku dusta dan keji.
2) Menjauhi kejahatan.
3) Memohon yang halal kerana takut jatuh dalam keharaman.

Wahai Ali, bagi AHLI IBADAH itu ada 3 tanda2nya:
1) Mengawasi dirinya.
2) Menghisab dirinya.
3) Memperbanyakkan ibadah kepada Allah s.w.t.

lots of luff,

alkisah~

2009-11-06T06:28:00.000-08:00

Sebab sebab penjara pudu sukar ditutup..

Berlaku di Penjara Pudu Kuala Lumpur di suatu ketika dulu. Hanya
boleh disebarkan pada orang2 tertentu sahaja...

Sebelum Penjara Pudu ditutup dulu pernah diceritakan bahawa terdapat satu bilik dipanggil "Bilik Terakhir". Dibilik inilah seringnya
berlaku kejadian pelik sejak Penjara Pudu ditutup.

Dinamakan "BILIK TERAKHIR " adalah kerana dulu ia merupakan bilik kediaman terakhir bagi si pesalah jenayah berat sebelum menjalani hukuman gantung sampai mati pada keesokan harinya dibilik gantung.

Di BILIK TERAKHIR inilah pesalah dikatakan akan meratap,menangis,
menjerit, bercakap seorang diri dan berbagai lagi perlakuan kerana
menyesali kesalahan mereka yang lalu. Mereka menjadi begitu kerana dikatakan tidak kuat semangat menghadapi maut keesokan harinya yang telah diketahui mereka.

Menurut kata warden-warden yang masih ada di Penjara Pudu sewaktu proses pengosongan Penjara Pudu dijalankan,mereka sering terdengar suar a-suara sayu meminta tolong, suara orang menangis dan bermacam-macam lagi dari Bilik Terakhir tesebut.

Tak kurang juga ada diantara warden yang terlihat seekor kambing hitam sering masuk menembusi pintu bilik itu tanpa dibuka dan kemudian tidak pula kelihatan kambing keluar semula.

Ramai bomoh dan pawang yang dipanggil bagi memulihkan bilik tersebut mengatakan bahawa suara-suara yang sering kedengaran diwaktu malam dari Bilik Terakhir itu adalah
akibat roh-roh pesalah yang mati ditali gantung tersebut tidak tenteram kerana mati mereka ditali gantung.

Nak dijadikan cerita pada suatu malam Jumaat ketika hujan renyai-renyai seorang warden telah ditugaskan mengawal kawasan yang berhampiran dengan "Bilik Terakhir" itu. Ketika sedang berkawal kira-kira lebih kurang pukul 01:00 pagi beliau terdengar seperti tapak kaki sedang berlari-lari berhampiran bilik tersebut.

Ia cuba beranikan diri untuk untuk melihat apakah bendanya itu.Sedang ia mengamat-amati maka terlihatlah dalam kesamaran seekor kambing hitam sedang menuju kearah Bilik Terakhir itu lalu lesap begitu saja. Ia berasa harian bagaimana seekor kambing boleh ada dikawasan itu?
Oleh kerana ingin tahu ia beranikan juga diri menghampiri Bilik Terakhir itu.

Alangkah terperanjatnya mendapati pintu bilik itu telah bertukar menjadi pintu gua. Mulalah ia berasa gementar, seram serta menggigil ketakutan namun diberanikan juga diri memasuki pintu gua yang samar-samar itu sambil meninjau-ninjau didalamnya jika terlihat akan
kambing tadi. Apabila apabila sampai je kedalam gua tersebut alangkah terperanjatnya ia bila didapati banyak harta karun dalamnya. Ia cuba mengambil harta itu tetapi tiba-tiba hilang dari pandangan lalu menjelmalah satu lembaga yang mengerikan seraya berkata,

"Heyyyyyy manusiaaa. Jangan awak sentuh harta itu. Hartaaaa itu bukan kauuu yang punyaaaa " " Ahmaaaaaad Albab yang punyaaaaaa " Ha Ha Ha Ha" Yaaaaaaa, Ahmaaaaadd Albab yang punyaaaaaa ... "

Tahniah kerana minat membaca.

lots of luff,

I me & myself

2009-11-06T06:03:00.000-08:00

lots of luff,

SHRMZ&B

2009-10-10T04:09:00.000-07:00

assalamualaikum ppl..

wow!! it been awhile m nt visiting my blog...well...how r u ppl??..<3> well my life is soo borriingg but stiilll siuuukkkk..hehe..i noe my jobless..i did apply jobs so many times..but no response for some jobs...but its okay laa..rezeki masing2 baa..i believe in dat..sabar2 sja cha..maybe ada tu masanya..just takes time plus ia kn bagi chance tuk me enjoy my long break sja..hehe n i noe m still JOBLESS!!! for those yg busybody kn mau tau psl hidupku ne..awueee aku masih JOBLESS baa eee...yg mau tau saja2 tu nda jwa apa.ne ada yg majal..n msg aku tu baa..direply balik nda jua membalas..just ia mau tau aku kaja o nt..so competitive dat gurl..beri malas tu aa...huhuhu...GET A LIFE BAAA!!!!

RAYA!!
RAYA!!

RAYA!!

Raya taun ne..hmm...siukkk kan? happening ka? mcm bleh laa jwa kan..but nt dat happening mcm DULU!! i love my old raya moments...uwaaa!!!!!! dulu raya convoy wv old frens apa...n yeaa..dulu masa kids tu...sanggup berjalan batis kumah2 cousin plg tu aa..jgn plg kdaerah lain..lalah jwa tu kajanya kan semua dilanggar ne..plusss ANGPOWW!!! aka DUIT RAYA!! full in d pocket...kira wajib laa tu aaa..kweng3...n more than dat...merapatkan silaturahim jwa wv other families maa...wow!!! in my kg ne plg sja tu aa..coz..we still kids baaa...no drive allow since no license maa...huhu....klu nda...fheeww!! i dun tink ill stay at my home saja kli ee..n maybe dats y my mother doesnt allow me to drive car even i haf my own license already..pfftt...but its okay..i still can drive car illegally...yeaay!! hey hey u!! dun follow me keh..noot guuud maa..hehe n yeaa...last sunday my frens n i went to tembird..braya laa baa..hehe..n i rily wish to eat udang galah!! n ahernya..tercapai jwa eh although i got it in d last house..huhuhu...anyhoos thanx geng..hehe..n thanx to amal tapaukan kelupis masatu..hehe n masa tu banyak durian ee..but too bad i dun eat durian..hehe

apa lagi aa...oo yeaa masatu sampat lagi join training at De Hayatt..atu pun sehari sja..u noe laa msatu before HM birthday tu..ada masalah penyakit H1N1 aa...nda jwa ada ahernya dinner..f ada pun kna panggil leh org yg pro saja laa..n we were still freshy kan..so dey dun trust us laa tu to handle dat BIG dinner...well..i dun mind laa as long i had experience from them n dats enuf for me..hehe..n byk jwa dah laa i attended any interview ne..but u noe laa..ukannya byk post masa tu kosong ryt..n confirm org di sana want their company for the best so dey select for those who r experience kan..n i also dun mind abt it..

i tink sampai sini saja laa..m blank dh ne..lama dh nda buat essay ne baa..wawawa...well..nyts..nyts ppl...<3<3<3

lots of luff,

Assalamualaikum wbt

2009-09-19T06:56:00.000-07:00

lots of luff,

teka teki

2009-09-04T07:07:00.000-07:00

1) What's the similarities between BRA and BAR?

- men go there when they are open

2) Kalau kapal terbang masuk gua, kemudian keluar dekat mana?

- keluar newspaper

3) Apa yang masuk straight keluar bergulung?

- Seluar dalam

4) Apa yang masa hidup kita nyanyi, sudah mati kita tepuk tangan?

- Birthday candle

5) Scorpian color apa?

- Kala Jengking

6) Dalam banyak2 kera, kera apa pandai menaip?

- Kerani

7) Apa masa kecil hitam, dah besar putih?

- Michael Jackson

8) Kerusi apa paling jauh?

- SOFA

9) Kenapa anak babi tunduk bila jalan belakang emak dia?

- Sebab dia malu emak dia babi

lots of luff,

roh di bulan Ramadhan

2009-09-04T07:01:00.000-07:00

Pagi tadi sempena hari Jumaat bulan Ramadhan yang mulia ini, aku menghadiri majlis ilmu yang membincangkan tentang amalan di bulan Ramadhan. Satu perkara yang menarik perhatian aku tadi, ustaz penceramah bercerita tentang keadaan roh di bulan Ramadhan. Menurut satu hadith Rasulullah..(maaf aku tak sempat catat perawi hadith ini).. menceritakan apabila tiba bulan Ramadhan, semua roh berkumpul di Luh Mahfuz memohon kepada Allah S.W.T untuk kembali ke bumi. Ada roh yang dibenarkan pulang ke bumi dan ada yang tidak dibenarkan.Roh yang dibenarkan pulang adalah kerana amalan baik mereka semasa hayat mereka ataupun ada penjamin-penjamin yang mendoakan mereka. Manakala roh-roh yang tidak dibenarkan pulang disebabkan kesalahn mereka semasa hayat mereka akan terus di penjara di Luh Mahfuz.

Apabila roh dibenarkan pulang, perkara pertama yang mereka lakukan adalah pergi ke tanah perkuburan untuk melihat jasad mereka. Kemudian mereka akan pergi ke rumah anak2 mereka, orang yang mendapat harta pusaka mereka dan ke rumah orang yang mendoakan mereka dengan harapan orang yang mereka lawati itu memberi hadiah untuk bekalan mereka.Perkara ini akan berlarutan sehinggala tibanya Hari Raya Aidilfitri. Pada saat ini mereka akan mengucapkan selamat tinggal kepada jasad dan pulang semula ke Luh Mahfuz dengan bekalan yang diberikan oleh mereka2 yang masih hidup.

Di sini ustaz memberitahu hikmah adanya alam kubur. Alam kubur membuktikan bahawa Allah itu Maha Penyayang. Orang yang melakukan kesalahan semasa hayatnya boleh dibantu dengan doa orang2 yang masih hidup. Alangkah bahagianya jika seseorang yang telah meninggal dunia masih mendapat bekalan dari orang-orang yang masih hidup.

Oleh itu wahai sahabatku, jangan biarkan orang-orang yang kita sayang, yang mengadap Allah terlebih dulu daripada kita sepi tanpa doa dan sedekah daripada kita. Sesungguhnya apabila mati seseorang anak adam itu, terputus la semua hal kecuali 3 perkara iaitu doa anak2 yang soleh, ilmu yang bermanfaat dan sedekah amal jariah.

lots of luff,

tips yooo~

2009-09-04T06:07:00.000-07:00

PETUA KURANGKAN LAPAR DAN DAHAGA

Kalau nak kurangkan lapar dan dahaga di mana kita bekerja seperti biasa amalkan petua berikut, insyaAllah kurang lapar dan dahaga .

Mesti sahur.
Ketika nak makan nasi, bacalah selayaknya sebagai seorang Islam . Gumpalkan nasi sebanyak 3 ketul . Baca Surah Al Ikhlas 1 kali dan makan nasi segumpal . Baca lagi, makan lagi. Jadi 3 kali lah kita baca surah Al Ikhlas. Dah habis 3 gumpal tu makanlah seperti biasa.

Selepas makan sahur , makan buah kurma 7 biji . Sebelum makan, Bacakan selawat 1 dan makan buah kurma, baca lagi makan kurma lagi. Sampailah 7 kali.

Amalan ini adalah baik untuk orang-orang yg bekerja di tengah panas , seperti buruh kasar dan sebagainya.

SEBENARNYA: Surah Al-Ikhlas itu adalah ayat yg dapat menguatkan segala sendi dan tulang dalam badan kita dengan izin Allah swt. Buah kurma itu, 7 biji kalau kita makan dlm sehari, iblis takkan dekat dengan kita . Dan ianya adalah amalan Rasulullah, selain dari memberikan tenaga. Cuba lah dengan izin Allah swt.

Wallahualam.

lots of luff,

kahkahkah

2009-09-04T05:40:00.000-07:00

A Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg.

As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

Instead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says, "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Habour, get outta here."

The astonished Chinese man replied, "It was not the Chinese who bombed your PearlHarbour, it was the Japanese".

"Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same," replied Spielberg.

In return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says, "You sank the Titanic, my forefathers were on that ship."

Shocked, Spielberg replies, "It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me."

The Chinese replies, "Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same."

lots of luff,

kepada kalian

2009-08-20T06:12:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum ,

Do'a malaikat Jibril menjelang Ramadhan " "Ya Allah tolong abaikan puasa ummat Muhammad, apabila sebelum memasuki bulan Ramadhan dia tidak melakukan hal-hal yang berikut:

* Tidak memohon maaf terlebih dahulu kepada kedua orang tuanya (jika masih ada);
* Tidak berma'afan terlebih dahulu antara suami isteri;
* Tidak bermaafan terlebih dahulu dengan orang-orang sekitarnya.

Maka Rasulullah pun mengatakan Amiin sebanyak 3 kali. Dapatkah kita bayangkan, yang berdo'a adalah Malaikat dan yang meng-aminkan adalah Rasullullah dan para sahabat , dan dilakukan pada hari Jumaat.

Oleh itu SAYA TERLEBIH DAHULU MEMOHON MAAF jika saya ada berbuat kesalahan, baik yang tidak di sengaja mahupun yang di sengajakan , semoga kita dapat menjalani ibadah puasa dengan khusyuk, diberkati dan dirahmati Allah S.W.T,insyaallah.

Tulus ikhlas:

Hj Teepo

2009-08-19T23:06:00.000-07:00

Al-kisah ada seorang businessman yang kaya raya bernama Hj.Teepo. Apa saja
nama bisnes atas muka bumi ini, dia ada.. Sayang, kekayaan Hj.Teepo adalah
sebahagian besar hasil penipuan dan putar alamnya dalam bisnes. Sahamnya
berpuluh juta, hasil penipuan. Tanah ribu hektar,pun hasil tipu. Wang
beratus juta juga, tipu punya hasil.. Puas isterinya memberikan kaunseling
agar Hj.Teepo berhenti menipu, namun tak dihiraukannya.

Kerana makan terlalu banyak dan mewah, dinner tiap-tiap malam (orang belanja
of course), exercise tarak, satu hari Hj.Teepo disahkan oleh doktor mengidapi penyakit barah dan disahkan akan padam dalam masa sebulan. Maka teramatlah hiba hati Hj.Teepo nak meninggalkan dunia ini, tambah pula mengenangkan segala aktivitinya selama ini.

Maka dipanggillah anak isterinya untuk berwasiat. Kain yang dah buruk, koyak pun tak apa, buat kain kapan aku. Aku dah banyak merasa kemewahan di dunia ini. Biarlah kain buruk yang ku bawa ke akhirat," jelas Hj.Teepo dengan genangan air mata. "Kenapa begitu bang?" tanya isterinya."Saja aku na merasa pakai kain buruk pula," jawabnya lagi. Isterinya terdiam,tapi hatinya berbisik, "Syukurlah, walau dah agak terlambat, ada juga kesedaran dan keinsafan dihati suamiku."

Maka tempoh sebulan cuma tinggal 24 jam lagi. Dengan wajah sugul, Hj.Teepo berbaring di kamarnya. Kain putih yang dah lusuh dan terkoyak sana sini telah siap disediakan. Untuk terakhir kali, si isteri menghampiri Hj.Teepo. "Bang", bisiknya perlahan. "Buat kali terakhir sebelum abang meninggalkan kami, berilah tahu kenapa abang nak dikapankan dengan kain yang dah buruk.

Sedih saya melihat keadaan kain itu bang. Apakah abang telah insaf dan bertaubat dengan perbuatan abang selama ini?"

Hj.Teepo merenung isterinya lama-lama dan bersuara, "Baiklah, mari rapat kepadaku" isteri Hj.Teepo terus menghampiri suaminya. Dengan nada yang sedih Hj.Teepo bersuara, "Yang, you pun tahu, terlalu banyak dosa yang I lakukan selama ini. Berapa ramai orang yang dah I kelentong. Jadi cukuplah kemewahan yang I rasakan. Biarlah I dikebumikan dengan kain buruk saja." Isterinya masih ragu-ragu.

"Apakah abang fikir dosa-dosa abang boleh diampunkan dengan berkain kapan yang buruk begitu?" tanyanya lagi.

"Bukan begitu Yang. Kalaulah abang pakai kain kapan yang buruk, nanti Malaikat Mungkar dan Nakir fikir abang dah lama mati. Mereka juga akan fikir abang dah kena soal. Taklah nanti mereka soal abang lagi. Jadi selamatlah abang...."

"Astaghfirullah hal aziiiiiiiiiim" isteri Hj.Teepo terus terlentang kerana terkejut berok dengan penjelasan suaminya.

P/S: Mati pun nak kelentong. Nak kelentong Malaikat pulak tu...... Ambik le iktibar .

lots of luff,

scandal??

2009-08-19T22:52:00.000-07:00

Tersebut lah kisah, sepasang suami isteri yang telah mempunyai 3 orang anak sedang berbual sambil menonton TV di dalam bilik mereka. Si isteri bertanya kepada suami beberapa soalan.

Isteri: Bang, kalau saya mati dulu bang akan kahwin lagi tak?

Suami: Abang rasa abang mungkin akan kahwin lagi sebab anak2 kita perlukan seorang ibu. Makan minum abang adalah yang akan sediakan.

Isteri: Habis, kalau abang kahwin lagi abang kasi ke dia duduk rumah kita?

Suami: Ya lah. Sebab rumah ni mahal, takkan nak biar kosong macam tu aje.

Isteri: Abang kasi dia guna bilik kita, toilet kita?

Suami: Ya lah sayang. Takkan abang nak buat bilik lain khas untuk dia. Nanti bilik ni membazir plak.

Isteri: Abang kasi ke dia pakai almari kita?

Suami: Ya sayang. Almari kita ada 4 pintu, takkan nak bagi orang lain plak.

Isteri:Abang kasi ke dia pakai katil kita?

Suami: Terpaksalah,sayang. katil kita tu baru je beli bulan lepas.

Isteri: Baju tidur saya, tuala mandi saya?

Suami: Takkan itu abang nak bagi kat kakak dan adik awak. Jadi daripada tak
dipakai, lebih baik kalau abang kasi dia aje.

Isteri: Beg tangan saya, kasut saya, set golf saya?

Suami: Itu tak boleh, sebab dia suka handbag warna biru tua, kasut dia saiz kecil daripada awak, saiz 5. Set golf pun tak boleh sebab dia kidal...

Isteri: ... ... ..???... ... ..... ... .

lots of luff,

perkahwinan

2009-08-19T22:44:00.000-07:00

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan menyingkap tabir rahsia
UNTUK PARA LELAKI…….

Isteri yang menikahi kamu tidaklah semulia Khadijah ,
Tidaklah setaqwa Aisyah ,pun tidak setabah Fatimah .
Justeru isterimu hanyalah wanita akhir zaman yang punya cita-cita menjadi isteri solehah.

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan mengajar kita kewajiban bersama.

Isteri menjadi tanah kamu langit penaungnya.
Isteri ladang tanaman kamu pemagarnya.
Isteri kiasan ternakan kamu gembalanya.
Isteri adalah murid kamu mursyidnya.
Isteri bagaikan anak kecil kamu tempat bermanjanya.

Saat isteri menjadi madu kamu teguklah sepuasnya.
Seketika isteri menjadi racun kamulah penawar bisanya.
Seandainya isteri tulang yang bengkok berhatilah meluruskannya.

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan menginsafkan kita perlunya iman dan taqwa.

Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redha Allah s.w.t. kerana memiliki isteri yang tak sehebat mana.

Justeru kamu akan tersentak dari alpa.
Kamu bukanlah Rasulullahs. a.w.
Pun bukanlah Sayyidina Ali Karamallahhuwajhah.
Cuma suami akhir zaman yang berusaha menjadi soleh...amin. .!

Untuk wanita.... renungkanlah. ...

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan membuka tabir rahsia?
UNTUK PARA WANITA……..
Lelaki yang menikahi kamu tidaklah semulia Muhammads aw .
Tidaklah setaqwa Ibrahim , p un tidak setabah Ayyub ..
Atau pun segagah Musa ... apalagi setampan Yussof .

Pernikahan atau perkahwinan mengajar kita kewajiban bersama

Suami menjadi pelindung kamu penghuninya.
Suami adalah nahkoda kapal kamu pengemudinya.
Suami bagaikan pelakon yang nakal kamu adalah penonton kenakalannya.
Saat suami menjadi raja kamu nikmati anggur singgahsananya.

Seketika suami menjadi bisa kamulah penawar ubatnya.
Seandainya suami bengis lagi lancang sabarlah memperingatkannya.

Pernikahan ataupun perkahwinan mengajarkan kita perlunya iman dan taqwa.Untuk belajar meniti sabar dan redha Allah s.w.t. kerana memiliki suami yang tak segagah mana.

Justeru kamu akan tersentak dari alpa.

Kamu bukanlah Khadijah yang begitu sempurna dalam menjaga.
Pun bukanlah Hajar yang begitu setia dalamsengsara .
Cuma wanita akhir zaman yang berusaha menjadi solehah...amin!

Justeru itu wahai para lelaki dan wanita,

Jangan menuntut terlalu tinggi seandainya diri sendiri jelas tidak berupaya.Mengapa mendambakan isteri sehebat Khadijah andai diri tidak semulia Rasulullah ? Mengapa mengharapkan suami setampan Yusof seandainya kasih tak setulus Zulaikha ? Tidak perlu mencari isteri secantik Balqis andai diri tidak sehebat Sulaiman DAN Tidak perlumencari suami seteguh Ibrahim andai diri tidak sekuat Hajar dan Sarah.

Redhalah atas apa pemberian-Nya....
Terimalah si dia seadanya....

lots of luff,

kahkahkah!!

2009-08-11T05:45:00.001-07:00

Ah Beng - NEW STUFF
********************

Ah Beng bought a new mobile.
He sent a message to everyone from his Phone Book & said,
'My Mobile No. Has changed.
Earlier it was Nokia 3310. Now it is 6610'
====================================

Ah Beng : I am a Proud, coz my son is in Medical College.
Friend: Really, what is he studying.
Ah Beng: No, he is not studying, they are Studying him.
==========================================

Ah Beng : Doctor, in my dreams, I play football every night.
DR: Take this tablet, you will be ok.
Ah Beng : Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final game.
===========================================

Ah Beng : If I die, will u remarry?
Wife: No! I'll stay with my sister. But if I die will u remarry?
Ah Beng : No, I'll also stay with your sister.
=========================================

Ah Beng : People consider me as a 'GOD'
Wife: How do you know??
Ah Beng : When I went to the Park today, everybody said,
Oh GOD! U have come again.
===========================================

Ah Beng complained to the police: 'Sir, all items are missing, except the TV in my house.'
Police: 'How the thief did not take TV?'
Ah Beng : 'I was watching TV news...'
=========================================

Ah Beng comes back 2 his car & find a note saying 'Parking Fine'
He Writes a note and sticks it to a pole 'Thanks for complement.'
=============================================

How do you recognize Ah Beng in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from the book when the teacher erases the board.
===============================================

Once Ah Beng was walking he had a glove on one hand and not on other.
So the man asked him why he did so.
He replied that the weather forecast announced that on one hand it would be cold and on the other hand it would be hot.
==================================================

Ah Beng in a bar and his cellular phone rings.
He picks it up and Says 'Hello, how did you know I was here?'
===================================================

Ah Beng : Why are all these people running?
Man - This is a race, the winner will get the cup
Ah Beng - If only the winner will get the cup, why others running?
===================================================

Teacher: 'I killed a person' convert this sentence into future tense
Ah Beng : The future tense is 'u will go to jail'
=====================================================

Ah Beng told his servant: 'Go and water the plants!'
Servant: 'It's already raining.'
Ah Beng : 'So what? Take an umbrella and go.'

lots of luff,

kahkahkah!!

2009-08-11T05:34:00.000-07:00

FUNNY JOB INTERVIEW IN INDIA

OFFICER----------------WHAT IS YOUR NAME ?

CANDIDATE-----------------M P. SIR

OFFICER----------------TELL ME PROPERLY

CANDIDATE---------------MOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER--------------YOUR FATHER'S NAME ?

CANDIDATE----------------M P. SIR

OFFICER-------------WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE-------------MANMOHAN PAL SIR

OFFICER-------------YOUR NATIVE PLACE

CANDIDATE--------------M P. SIR

OFFICER------------IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ?

CANDIDATE-------------NO, MANI PAL SIR

OFFICER------------WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION ?

CANDIDATE-------------M P. SIR

OFFICER------------(ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ?

CANDIDATE------------ METRIC PASS

OFFICER-------------WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ?

CANDIDATE------------M P. SIR

OFFICER------------AND WHAT DOSE THAT MEAN ?

CANDIDATE-------------MONEY PROBLEM SIR

OFFICER------------DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY

CANDIDATE-------------M P. SIR

OFFICER------------EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY

CANDIDATE----------MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR

OFFICER-------------THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW

CANDIDATE---------- -M P. SIR

OFFICER----------------WHAT is it NOW

CANDIDATE-------------My Performance....?

OFFICER----------------M P!!!!

CANDIDATE------------WHAT IS THAT SIR

OFFICER--------------MENTAL PROBLEM

lots of luff,

kahkahkah!!

2009-08-11T05:26:00.000-07:00

SALAH TAFSIR

Suatu pagi yang indah kat sebuah sekolah rendah, seorang guru yang
begitu dedikasi mengajar anak2 muridnya tentang betapa bahayanya
minuman keras kepada mereka. Sebelum memulakan mata pelajarannya pada hari
itu dia telah mengambil 2 ekor cacing yang hidup, sebagai sampel kehidupan
dan dua gelas minuman yang masing2 berisi dengan air mineral dan arak..

"Cuba perhatikan murid2.. lihat bagaimana saya akan memasukkan cacing ini
kedalam gelas, perhatikan betul2. Cacing yang sebelah kanan saya, akan saya
masukkan ke dalam air mineral manakala cacing yang sebelah kiri saya akan
masukkan ke dalam arak. Perhatikan betul2."

Semua mata tertumpu pada kedua2 ekor cacing itu.

Seperti dijangkakan, cacing yang berada dalam gelas yang berisi air mineral
itu berenang2 di dasar gelas, manakala cacing yang berada di dalam arak
menggeletek lalu mati. Si cikgu tersenyum lebar, apabila melihat anak2
muridnya memberikan sepenuh tumpuan pada ujikajinya.

"Baiklah murid2, apa yang kamu dapat belajar dari ujikaji yang cikgu
tunjukkan sebentar tadi??"

Dengan penuh yakin anak2 muridnya menjawab,

UNTUK MENGELAKKAN KECACINGAN...MINUMLAH ARAK...

Pengajaran : Cakap biar terang, bak kata-kata dalam filem P Ramlee..........

lots of luff,

kahkahkah!!

2009-08-11T03:36:00.000-07:00

Mencari laki

Ada seorang wanita yang telah dua kali berkahwin namun
selalu gagal dengan perkahwinannya. Perceraian dengan suami
pertamanya kerana suaminya kasar, sering memukulnya.

Perceraian yang kedua kerana suaminya lari dengan wanita
lain. Namun setelah kejadian itu, sampai sekian lama dia
belum menemukan kekasih baru yang mampu memuaskannya secara
zahir maupun batin.

Hingga suatu hari dia memasang iklan:

"Dicari: Laki-laki yang tidak suka memukul, setia dan
sangat hebat di atas ranjang."

Seminggu kemudian datanglah seorang lelaki dengan mengetuk
pintu rumahnya. Betapa terkejutnya wanita itu setelah dia
membuka pintu, seorang laki-laki tanpa kedua tangan maupun
kakinya.

"Saya datang sehubungan dengan iklan yang puan pasang
seminggu yang lalu," ujar laki-laki tadi dengan penuh
yakin. "Mungkin saudara salah," sergah si
wanita. "Saya cuba jelaskan," pintas si
laki-laki tadi. "Saya tidak akan memukulpuan kerana
saya tidak punya tangan, saya tidak akan lari meninggalkan
puan kerana saya tidak punya kaki.

"Tapi..." potong si wanita, "bagaimana
saya boleh tau awak hebat di atas ranjang? "

"Agak-agak puan, tadi saya mengetuk pintu dengan
menggunakan apa??????......

lots of luff,

ermm..

2009-08-11T03:09:00.000-07:00

This is hilarious...even an Englishman could not construct sentences using numeric! Exclusively only to great Malaysian & Singaporean Chinese ............

Ah Lek was asked to make a sentence using 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10.
Not only did he do it 1 to 10, he did it again back to 1.

This was what he came up with ...................

1 day I go 2 climb up a 3 outside a house to peep. But the couple saw me, so I panic and 4 down. The man rush out and wanted to 5 with me. I run so fast until I fall 6 and throw up. So I go into 7 eleven and grab some 8 to throw at him. Then I took a 9 and try to stab him. 10 God he run away.

So, I put the 9 back and pay for the 8 and left 7 eleven. Next day, I call my boss and say I am 6. He said 5, tomorrow also no
need to come back 4 work. He also asks me to climb a 3 and jump down. I don’t understand, I so nice 2 him but I don't know what he 1.

lots of luff,

click click!

2009-07-25T19:35:00.000-07:00

salam readers...hey hey..puff~*lalah jwa mgupload tu aa* well..these are our 3rd photoshoot around bandar tu..i tink u noe wer it is base on our pics down ere...and thanx to khairul azwan and armie, our photographer that moment plus nice editing u guys have too..hopely it helps you guys to improve ur guys skill apa..hehe..ermm..and sorry..f ada apa2 yang kureengg..eseehh..we r nt rilly good poser but still we can do it to get d best one..*winkz!* hope u guys like it..hehe yeaayy!!

lots of luff,

away-ing

2009-07-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

salam..hey readers...wow! lama dh nda update ee..ane pun just a lil idea..mlsh kn update actuallynya..but nway..kamu2 yg bertanya..naahh..m updating my blog dah..baca jgn nda baca..wawaa...d events lama dh p aher update baaa plus d wlan ere rily eheemm..hard to say..ciaan kan..apa2pun..m bz wv my activities ere..banyak kan dbuat bnarnya..but looks like remeh temeh plg..but still kind of activity aper..hehe

-sunglasses wv shoe-

-emma in sephia mood-

-wer is it?-

-wondering-

-it's beautiful-

lots of luff,

kweng3

2009-07-17T19:44:00.000-07:00

Minah nih emaknya si Mat, tengah merisik dan berunding tentang wang hantaran

Emak kepada Minah : "Yerlah... anak saya blajar lulus universiti.... tak nak bilang baper... tapi biar lah patut-patut.... selalunya yang belajar tinggi dalam lingkungan 10 Ribu.... tapi ini lah satu satunya anak pompan saya.... harap harap paham jerlah~"

Emak kepada Mat : "Saya paham maksud awak... tapi saya harap awak pun paham lah yer... kalau terlampau tinggi harus ditangguhkan nanti... biarlah dicepatkan biar jauh dari maksiat..."

Emak kepada Minah : "Kalau awak tak mampu... Anak saya nie bukan tak laku... ada banyak lagi yang tunggu..... dah lah harga rendah.... nak cepat pulak tuh... apa nanti orang cakap..."

Mat : "Yerlah makcik... Makcik nie jual anak ke kereta? Takda macam gini.... SEKARANG jugak saya DOWNPAYMENT 2 Ribu... Saya bawak balik anak makcik.... Malam nie saya TEST DRIVE DULU SEMUA.... kalau dalam semua BAIK.... Jangan cakap 10 RIbu 12 Ribu pun saya letak... tapi kalau dah LEMAU, ENJIN PUN TAK BAGUS tuh anak makcik DENGAN DEPOSIT DEPOSIT semua MAKCIK boleh simpan!!"

lots of luff,

dat's sooo true..

2009-07-17T19:39:00.000-07:00

Before the marriage:

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why you even asking ?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Yes!

She: Will you hit me?

He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

Now after the marriage you can read it from bottom to the top !!!!

**dat's true..are you gonna do dis??**

lots of luff,

tips utk tahan lama

2009-07-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

Sesuai untuk yang dah berkeluarga mahupun yang masih solo.......
Ewah ewah ewah... korang suka betul kalau bab-bab nak tahan lama nie, ya?
Kat bawah nie ada petua untuk 'tahan lama'.

KELAPA PARUT
Untuk lebih tahan lama selama 2 tahun.
Belah kelapa dan ambik sebelah sahaja.
Gunakan sebelah pada 31 December 2008. Dan sebelah lagi
pada 1 January 2009. Wah...tahan sampai 2 tahun kan ?

NASI/LAUK
Biar tahan lebih lama,
Jangan gunakan jari pasal jari korang ada bakteria.
Sebab tu lauk cepat basi. Ceduk la pakai sudu ke, sudip ke.

BARANGAN KEMAS TERUTAMA EMAS
Kalau untuk lebih 'tahan lama',
Bayarle zakat utk barang kemas tu atau pakai saja.
Barangan emas bila dah terlalu banyak, kena bayar zakat.
Kalau tak, tetiba hilang atau kena curi, padan muka korang, ha haa...

PAKAIAN.
Nak tahan lama
Jangan rendam dalam serbuk pencuci lama sangat elak guna washing mach.
Jangan jemur bawah mentari terik elak guna bleach.
Jangan bawa mandi kat beach.
Gantung bila disimpan.
Cuci guna air jeram/hujan.
Jangan bagi pinjam kat kawan!!!.
Kalau nak tahan lagi lama PINJAMLAH BAJU MEMBER...BAJU SENDIRI SIMPAN.

KERETA
Nak tahan lama.
Lepas beli, simpan kat garaj. tutup elok2. jangan bagi angin masuk.
jangan bagi abuk masuk. jangan bagi wap air masuk.
bayar loan bulan2. sampai abis loan. gerenti tahan lama.

KENYANG
Kalau nak tahan lama,
Sebelum makan - baca bismillallah dan doa
Akhir makan - doa dan ucap alhamdullillah. ..

UMUR
Umur nak tahan lama?
Banyak kan senyum, jangan fikir semua masalah dan
jangan merokok!!! (bukan sebab rokok tu bahaya tapi
bazirkan duit saja, kalau duit tak ada banyakkan lagi masalah).

ROKOK
Rokok nak tahan lama?
Jangan hisapplah... ...!!!!, letak atas meja dan pandang saja.
P/S: jangan hisap benda-benda yang dilarang...sendiri mau ingat
hahaaa....

TIDUR
Tak tahan lama tak tidur malam
Rajin-rajinlah tidur siang.

HUBUNGAN
Bertahan lama dalam persahabatan/ hubungan,
Jujur dan ikhlas je!!!!

Last word:
SELAMAT BERTAHAN LAMA........ ......... .sentiasa terbuka dan rasional.

lots of luff,

how to write letter..

2009-07-17T19:18:00.000-07:00

Dear Ah Lian,

Thanks you for your letter. Wrong time no see you. How everything? For me, I am quiet find.

You say in your letter your taukeh soh want you to chain your look? Somemore you must wear kick kok soo, hope you can wok properly.

You know, Ah Kau Kia working in a soft where company now. Last week, he take I, Muthu & few of his friend to May Nonut to eat barger. After that he take we all go to kalah ok. Muthu sing and sing no stop until the sky bright.

Next week, my father mother going to sellerbread 20 years annie wear sari.

My father mother going to give a fist to all the kampong people. So you must come with your hole family.

I only hope one day we no need to write and send letter to you and to me. Better I e-meow you, you e-meow me. I will ketchup with you soon.

And when you got time, please few free to call me. Goo bye.....

Worm regard,

Ah Beng

lots of luff,

teka? teki?

2009-07-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

Dalam Banyak2 air, air apa yg paling berani?
Ha.Ha.Ape bende tu?! Kalau nak tahu, jawapan yg sebenarnye ialah air
terjun..sebab dia berani terjun!!!! Ha!!! Ha!!! Ha!!!!!

Banyak- banyak binatang...binatang apa keluar haid...
jwpn: kura-kura..ala tu pun tak tahu...keluar HEAD....tak paham jugak.ala kepala le..

Dlm bnyk2 binatang..... bntg ape yg bertelur dan beranak.....kira 2 alam la
niiii...... ha jwp2.... ...siput babilaaaaa.....ye la siput bertelur...babi beranak....

Kalau anda ni semuanya pandaiiii cuba teka, banyak-banyak sungai, sungai apa yang paling berat?
Jawapannya ialah Sungai Besi...Ha...ha...ha...

Kereta dengan motor, mana lebih tua?
jawapannya adalah motor,sebab motor pakai tongkat...

Dlm banyak- banyak pokok,pokok apa yg baik hati?
jwpn dia pokok pisang sebab dia keluarkan jantung dia.

Ni dia satu lagi teka teki dari aku...huruf jawi apa yang ada angin...
huruf TA dan YA laa... kan jadi TAYAR tu

kasut apa yang paling keras?
Kasut batu..salah maa... kasut BATA laaaa...muhahaha..lawak ka?

Sebuah bas telah berhenti secara mendadak kerana hampir terlanggar
seekor katak.apakah yang akan turun dahulu selepas pemandu itu behenti?
jawapannya ialah meter bas tulah

Antara huruf A hingga Z,banyak-banyak huruf tu..mane huruf yang boleh kahwin ...ahhh sape dapat jawab????
jawapannya ialah....huruf i ngan u lerrr..hehehehehe.nih antara
pasangan bercinta lerrr ..hehehehe

Kalau korang pandai math, 5 orang cina tolak 3 orang india , jadi apa?
orang india tu jatuh lah.... keh keh keh!!!

Ada 3 biji limau kendian di bahagi kepada 3 bahagian..lepas tu dibagi pulak pada 3 org..baper seorang dapat ?...kes kes kes kes korang mesti lemah IQ kan ...
jawapannya sorang dapat sebiji limau ler..sbb sama gak ko potong atau
tak...hehehhe mesti dapat sorang sebiji

benda apa kalau naik tak turun dah?
jwpn dia umur la.ish...ish...

KENAPA TAYAR BELAKANG KENDERAAN SELALU BOTAK DAHULU DARIPADA TAYAR HADAPAN?
SEBABNYA IALAH DIA SELALU MEMIKIRKAN KENAPA DIA TIDAK DAPAT MEMECUT
TAYAR HADAPAN

cuba teka, mouse komputer , jantan ke betina?
jawapannye betina ler..pasal dia pakai pad.hehe

Ada sekor gajah dan sekor kancil,berjalan2 dalam hutan.Suatu ketika,mereka terjumpa sebuah titi. Semasa kancil menaiki titi tersebut, titi tersebut runtuh.Kancil telah patah kaki. Gajah pula patah.........
Gajah patah apa rasanya ya???? Gajah PATAH BALIK kot!

Dalam banyak banyak lembu, lembu apa yang semua petani cari
lembu yang hilang lah . kalau tak hilang siapa lah ada masa nak kisah pasal lembu.

Hidupan apa didalam laut paling tua.
jawapannya udang sebab dia sudah bongkok dan berjanggut..ha--ha--ha--ha--

Cube teka ye benda apa apabila kita berdiri dia baring, bila kita baring dia berdiri.......?
jawapannye tapak kaki la......

Banyak2 ikan, ikan apa yang pemalu...
jawapan nyer :ikan sardin.sebab nyer dier duduk dlm tin..

ANDAIKATA ANDA TERJUMPA MAYAT MANUSIA DAN BANGKAI HAIWAN YANG MANA SATU ANDA PERLU TUTUP DAHULU?
JAWAB..JAWAB JGN TAK JAWAB..DUA-DUA..SALAHLA.. TAK TAHU..TENTULAH HIDUNG..

APAKAH BENDA YANG KITA POTONG IA TETAP AKAN PANJANG?
HA JAWAPANYA MESTILAH KACANG PANJANG KAN. TAKKANLAH DAH POTONG KITA KENA PANGGIL KACANG PENDEK TAK SESUAI TAU. hehe..

lots of luff,

fyi..

2009-07-17T18:57:00.000-07:00

5 Minute Management Course

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.

The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'

'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift..
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.

The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'

'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'

Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'

Puff! He's gone.

'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager..

The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'

The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'

'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field.

While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

lots of luff,

kahkahkah

2009-07-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

SARDER JEE

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India ..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India .

------------------------------------------

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

-----------------------------------------

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

-----------------------------------------

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

----------------------------------------

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

---------------------------------------

Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

---------------------------------------

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

----------------------------------------------

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

lots of luff,

kahkahkah

2009-07-17T07:11:00.000-07:00

Pada suatu pagi, bertanya si isteri pada si suami:
Isteri : Abang tengok jiran kita yg baru pindah tu?
Suami : Kenapa?
Isteri : Tiap pagi sebelum pergi kerja, suami dia akan cium isterinya. Bila pulang kerja, dia akan berikan isterinya sekuntum bunga mawar. Loving betullah mereka. Kenapa abang tak buat macam tu?
Suami : Nak mampus... Mana abang kenal isteri dia?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suatu hari sedang Ali minum teh di gerai Mamak yang biasa dikunjunginya, tiba-tiba Mamak gerai tersebut bersorak gembira dan terus datang kepadanya.
Ali : Apa yang suka sangat Mamak ni?
Mamak : Saya bini juga surat India mari.
Ali : Apa dia cakap? Tentu good news....
Mamak: Dalam dia punya surat ada cakap sudah beranak. New baby! Ayo.... saya banyak suka hati la. Saya belanja awak free minum jugak!
Ali : Tahniah! Mamak. Ini kena balik India cepat ni?
Mamak : Ya la, saya sudah tiga tahun tarak balik. Bini pun tadak mari.
Ali : ?????????????

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Di sebuah kedai menjual burung, terdapat 2 ekor burung kakak tua. Kedua burung itu berbeza, yang satu suka bernyanyi dan yang satunya lagi hanya diam saja, datang seorang lelaki ingin membeli burung kakak tua. Ia berkata kepada si penjual burung.
Pembeli : Berapa harga burung kakak tua ini?
Penjual: Kalau yang suka menyanyi itu RM500, sedangkan yang diam itu RM1000.
Pembeli: Ahhh...?? Kenapa yang suka menyanyi lebih murah dari yang diam.
Penjual: Yaa... memang berbeza, yang berharga RM1000 itu ialah pencipta lagunya.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seorang gadis yang Bahasa Ingerisnya kacau-bilau... suatu hari terlanggar seorang pelancong US ketika berjalan² di The Mall.
Gadis : ' I'm sorry '
Pelancong : ' I'm sorry, too '
Si gadis kelihatan bingung kerana tidak faham apa yang diperkatakan oleh pelancong itu. Dia meneka2 dan terus menjawab…
Gadis : ' I'm sorry, three '
Pelancong : ' What are you sorry for? '
Gadis : ' I'm sorry, five '

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seorang lelaki telah pergi ke sebuah kedai kek untuk memesan sebiji kek sempena hari jadi isterinya.
'Apa yang hendak ditulis pada kek ulang tahun ini, Encik?' tanya si gadis manis yang bertugas di kaunter kepada lelaki itu. 'Mmmm, tulis saja 'Sayang tidak bertambah tua' di bahagian atas, kemudian sambung dengan 'Sayang cuma bertambah cantik' di bahagian bawah,' kata lelaki itu.

Esoknya, lelaki itu datang mengambil kek yang ditempahnya itu dan terus membawa pulang ke rumah untuk dipersembahkan kepada isterinya yang tersayang di hadapan tetamu-tetamu yang lain. Dan ketika kek itu dibuka di depan isteri dan tetamu undangan yang lain, lelaki itu setengah pengsan ketika membaca tulisan yang tertera di kek itu:
'SAYANG TIDAK BERTAMBAH TUA DI BAHAGIAN ATAS. SAYANG CUMA BERTAMBAH CANTIK DI BAHAGIAN BAWAH.'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Suzy menyampaikan hasrat hatinya kepada bapanya untuk berkahwin dengan Robert, jejaka pilihannya yang juga adalah jiran dan teman sepermainannya sejak kecil lagi.
Suzy : Ayah, Robert melamar saya. Kami mahu berkahwin.
Ayah : Apa? Tidak boleh! Kamu boleh berkahwin dengan sesiapa saja kecuali Robert.
Suzy : Tapi mengapa?
Ayah : (Separuh berbisik) Kerana Robert sebenarnya adalah abangmu. Tapi, jangan beritahu ibumu ye! Terkejut dengan jawapan itu, Suzy pergi pula kepada ibunya.
Suzy : Ibu, Ayah melarang saya berkahwin dengan Robert.
Ibu : Tak usah dengar cakap ayah kamu tu. Kamu boleh kahwin dengan sesiapa yang kamu suka termasuk Robert.
Suzi : Tapi kata ayah, Robert itu abang saya. Adik beradik kan tak boleh kahwin.
Ibu : (Separuh berbisik) Hmmm... Ayah kamu pun tak tahu kamu bukan anaknya.
Suzy : Ha!!??!

lots of luff,

puffss~

2009-06-26T02:55:00.000-07:00

salam people..

pruffss..agen..and agen.i dunno wat to say actually..well m damn bored right now too..m also listening song named "i wanted you"..i tink i have been put this song for my blog's song..n if u guys nda pernah dgr lagu ne..better u listen on it..it's a sweet song..hehe..and now m listening "jangan berhenti mencintaimu" by Titi DJ...it is a lovely song..i love it...hehe..both song ne sesuai didgr while u r in calm n relax situation..bleh laa jwa kamu menghayati tu...hehe..macam dalam SPA ada jwa..hehe

I noe lama dah inda updating my blog ne..just i need idea or something actually mls pun ada jwa..coz i have to edit those pics apa lagi..since my lappy keberatan dah..n i plan to buy external hard disk soon..errmm..dududuuu..nway i watched transformer 2, it was awesome u noe...u ppl better watch it..nda rugi laa baa...menunggu dvd ori lama lagi..ntah bila ka adanya tu..if u watch pirated cd or dvd..jgntah..nda siuk tu...trust me..rugi ada plg tu eh..m nt transformer movie's fan plg..but so far i watched any movie yg ada part 1 o part 2 ne..jarang laa part 2 nya ne more best than part 1...but this movie..wow!! lawa laa..majal jwa udah tu.. most people who have watch it, dey want to watch it agen..ertinya...seronoootttt laa tuh~..hehe

well..tonyt lagi ada function..uwaa!! naaleeehh..i need sumtyn fun ere..anytyn dat are not illegal..and also i need drug now..coz m headache..hmm..nway..i''ll update my blog soon yeaa..go emma..hehe

mwahzz!! mwaahzz!!

very funny!

2009-06-04T23:29:00.000-07:00

**just keeping reading lol!!**


Aku ada cerita ni... lawak la jugak.. tapi jangan ketawa tau... Aku baru
berkahwin setahun yang lepas dan duduk dengan isteri aku. Kami
duduk berdua sahaja sebab belum dikurniakan anak. Aku ni ada satu
kegemaran-iaitu makantelur rebus.Aku pun tak tahukenapa aku suka
makan telur rebus, sedap agaknya.


Sebelum aku kahwin, aku memang gila telur rebus. Pagi petang siang
malam makantelur rebus. Tapi semenjak aku kahwin ni aku terpaksa
berkorbanlah, iaitu dengan meninggalkan tabiat aku ini. Lama juga aku
dah tak pekena telur rebus ni..sebab orang rumah aku masak
sedap-sedap..so aku dah tak kisah lagilah..

Ceritanya begini, bulan lepas masa aku balik kerja tiba-tiba kereta aku
rosak..akupun telefon bini aku katakan aku balik lambat sebab kena
menapak. Sebab lapar akupun singgah satu kedai makan tu... ada telur
rebus lah.. akupun makan nasi dengan telur rebus.. lepastu aku order
telur rebus lebih lagi untuk diratah.Sebelum balik aku bungkus lagi
10 biji telur rebus untuk makan sambil berjalan balik nanti. Tiba je
kat rumah aku rasa amatlah kenyang.. maklumlah balas dendam
sebab lama tak pekena telur rebus. Sebelum aku masuk kerumah,isteri
aku tiba-tiba cakap dia ada'surprise' untuk aku malam ni. Dia
suruh aku tutup mata dengan kain hitam yang diikat kemas di belakang
kepalaku. Dan dipimpinnya aku sampai ke meja makan.Aku duduk di
kerusi dan isteriku pesan jangan cuba buka ikatan yang menutup mataku.

Aku nak pergi toilet sebab perutku mula buat hal, tapi malaslah nak
spoilkan'surprise' isteriku ini.. Aku pun tahan ler... Tetiba telefon
berbunyi,isteriku pergi mengangkatnya. Apa lagi ada chance aku pun
melepaskan kentut yang ditahan sekian lama.. Fuuuuhhh lega rasanya...
bau boleh tahan...maklumler berapa biji telur dah aku bedal tadi...
Alamak.. ada lagi satu la..aku pun angkat sebelah punggung dan
lepaskan satu das lagi.. bunyinya PROOOTTT!! .. fuh bau jangan
cakap beb..aku pun tak tahan bau dia... aku kipas pakai tangan
angin dia kasi kurang sikit bau dia... adalah macam bau telur
tembelang sikit..

Tetiba aku dengar bunyi telefon berdering lagi... hai lamanya tunggu
isteri aku ni,aku tak sabar lagi ni nak tahu suprise dia ni. Aku terasa
ada lagilah,kali ni memang aku rasa power punyalah.. aku kumpul dulu
kasi padu..lepastu aku bangun, tonggeng sikit dan lepaskan angin
taufan tu...PRRROOOOOTTT!!!!... fuhh lega... bergegar sikit meja
makan dibuatnya...peh tak tahan aku bau dia power gila.. aku tutup
hidung aku.. aku rasa bau dia ada sikit-sikit macam bangkai la.. mau
mati bunga atas meja makan aku ni..sambil tu aku sebut 'ahhhh....
lega...'. Adalah dekat 5 minit baru bau bangka itu hilang..


Lepas tu isteri aku kembali dan minta maaf sebab lambat.. lalu dia kata

 'SURPRISE!!'

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!' dan suruh aku buka kain penutup mata aku.. laaa
birthday aku hari ni le... camne boleh lupa ni.. Aku buka le kain
penutup mata aku..mulutku terus melopong... ALAMAK!!! Benda pertama
aku lihat..muka merah padam pak mertua aku, mak mertua aku, adik
ipar aku dua orang,duduk keliling meja makan. Bos aku dengan jiran
sebelah rumah rumah aku pun ada!!. ? jadi aku pun nak kaber malu,
aku tanya la kat pak mertua aku.'dah lama ke pak sampai?'.Dan pak
mertua aku pun jawab.'Dah lama.Sebelum kentut pertama lagi!!'.


lots of luff,

kahkahkahkah...

2009-06-04T23:14:00.000-07:00

The Lawyer and the Chinese

A lawyer and and a Chinese are sitting next to each other on a long flight.

The lawyer is thinking that all Chinese are so dumb that he could get over on them, easy. So the lawyer asks if the Chinese would like to play a fun game.

The Chinese is tired and just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines, and tries to catch a few winks.

The lawyer persists, and says that the game is a lot of fun. I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me only $5; you ask me one, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500, he says.

This catches the Chinese's attention and to keep the
lawyer quiet, he agrees to play the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. 'What's the distance from The Earth to the Moon?'
The Chinese doesn't say a word, reaches in his pocket, pulls out a five-dollar bill, and hands it to the lawyer?

Now, it's the Chinese's turn. He asks the lawyer, 'What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down with four?' The lawyer uses his laptop and searches all references he could find on the Net. He sends e-mails to all the smart friends he knows, all to no avail. After one hour of searching he finally gives up.

He wakes up the Chinese and hands him $500. The Chinese pockets the $500 and goes right back to sleep.
The lawyer is going nuts not knowing the answer.

He wakes the Chinese up and asks, 'Well, so what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?

The Chinese reaches in his pocket, hands the
lawyer $5 and goes back to sleep.

Don't mess with Chinese.

lots of luff,

kahkahkahkah...

2009-05-30T00:02:00.000-07:00

The Crazy Ah Beng

Why did Kok Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed !

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kok Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Kok Beng : "Do you have color TV ?"
Salesgirl : "Yes !"
Kok Beng : "Give me a green one, please."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kok Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc. Then he comes to column on "Salary Expected", but he is not sure of the question. After much thought, he writes "Yes"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kok Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Kok Beng : "What is that shiny object ?"
Salesgirl : "That is a thermos flask."
Kok Beng : "What does it do ?"
Salesgirl : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Kok Beng : "I'll buy it"

The next day, Kok Beng goes to work with his thermos flask

Boss : "What is that shiny object ?"
Kok Beng : "It's a thermos flask."
Boss : "What does it do ?"
Kok Beng : "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold"
Boss : "What do you have in it !?"
Kok Beng : "Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

After taking photocopies of documents, Kok Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kok Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why can't Kok Beng dial 911?
Because he can't find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kok Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.

Kok Beng : "I press the 'F1' key for help lah, but it's been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me ?!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kok Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring - but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear"
"Oh dear !" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
"But ...... what happened to the other ear ?"
Kok Beng answered : "That stupid dumbo called back !!!!"

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kok Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Kok Beng: "COULD YOU PLEASE
TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?" Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
Kok Beng : "THANK YOU " AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite sometime, Kok Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
"It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT", Kok Beng brags.
"FIVE MONTHS? THAT'S TOO LONG", the friend exclaims.
"YOU ARE A FOOL." Kok Beng replies, "SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

At a bar in New York , the man to Kok Beng's left tells the bartender, "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE" and his companion says, "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE".
The bartender approaches Kok Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR ?"
Kok Beng replies : "Tan Kok Beng, MARRIED"

lots of luff,

kahkahkahkah...

2009-05-29T23:56:00.000-07:00

Peristiwa malang

Imam melintasi tiong dalam sangkar

Burung Tiong: Ka masjid kita Pa Imam?

Imam: Au Tiong

Burung Tiong: Merah jua seluar dalam kita

Imam: camana kau tau?

Burung Tiung: ada lee

Imam: (diam dan segera beredar)

Esok.........Imam melintas lagi di depan tiong

Burung Tiong: Ka masjid kita Pa Imam?

Imam: Au Tiong

Burung Tiung: kuning tia seluar dalam kita

Imam: camana kau tau?

Burung Tiung: ada lee

Imam: (diam dan segera beredar dengan perasaan geram)

keesokannya Imam melintas lagi.....

Burung Tiong: gagas jua kita Pa Imam?

Imam: apa kau paduli

Burung Tiong: atu pun marah...nda penyabar jua kita ani Imam saja

Imam: diam kau

Tiong: kah! kah! kah! nda pakai seluar dalam kah? style baru ni

Imam: ( dalam keadaan marah Imam terus mencukur Tiong sampai habis bulunya)

Keesokannya Imam melintas di situ lagi seperti biasa

Burung Tiong: pssttt! pssst!

Imam: (imam menoleh) apa lagi?...

Burung Tiong: kah! kah! kah! nda pemalu kita ah meliat burung telanjang! karang pitutan!

lots of luff

kahkahkahkah...jo

2009-05-29T23:47:00.000-07:00

PENGEMBALA KAMBING YANG SANGAL DAN BANGANG

Temubual seorang pemuda dengan pakcik gembala
biri-biri.

Pemuda : Baguslah ternakan biri-biri pakcik. Boleh
saya tanya beberapa soalan tak?

Pakcik : Boleh aje...

Pemuda : Berapa jauh biri-biri ni berjalan setiap
hari?

Pakcik : Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?"

Pemuda : Yang putih.

Pakcik : Kalau yang putih berjalan lebih kurang enam
kilometer setiap hari.

Pemuda : Yang hitam?

Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama...

Pemuda : Berapa banyak plak rumput biri-biri ni makan
setiap hari?

Pakcik : Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?

Pemuda : Yang putih?

Pakcik : Ah, yang putih makan lebih kurang empat kilo
rumput setiap hari.

Pemuda : Dan yang hitam?

Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama...

Pemuda : Berapa banyak bulu yang mereka hasilkan
setiap tahun?

Pakcik : Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?

Pemuda : Yang putih?

Pakcik : Aaa...yang putih menghasilkan sekitar enam
kilo bulu setiap tahun.

Pemuda : Dan yang hitam?

Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama...

Pemuda : Kenapa pakcik membezakan biri-biri pakcik yg
putih dgn yg hitam, padahal jawapan semuanya sama aje?

Pakcik : Mestilah...sebab biri-biri yang putih itu
pakcik yang punya.

Pemuda : Ooo, gitu ke...abis tu yang hitam tu sapa
punya?

Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama....

**HAHAHAHA..APA KE BENDA NEH???..SANGAL BANAA..MENALOOR MENJAWAB TU EH**

lots of luff,

alkisah..

2009-05-28T03:38:00.000-07:00

S-A-L-A-M people~muchi buchi..

kamu..kamu..emma da ceta ne..alaa..ceta kisah emma masa tgl di hostel dulu tu..nda jwa dlu banaa laa tapi kan..it was a long story of mine..suweett..pain..sad..happy..der were alot-lot of memory laa...catue..*selurukan cjazz* ok laa..i start it from i am in year 1 in dat institute..

F6 - dis is my first block wer i live..banyak laa memory di sini ane..i tink dis block was my last suprised birthday party with my frens..masa tu i tink kami sibuk2 surf internet how to makeover i tink..kira blajar lee tu..masatu lagi..online di sini ane kai wave card n simpur card..atu pun signalnya no comment..bprobz laa yang pentingnya laa..and konon2 minta urut my back in my fren's dark room..tau2 kna tutup kipas..panas i said..den durg hayik2 cha.."happy birthday to you~" like m shocked dat tym..hehe pikirtah apa..tutup karan ka apa ka..and besuknya apanah..kami beraya ramai2 and convoy apa dr tutong-ke bandar, i tink we start at 9 i guess..semangat jwa tu kan..ehehe..1st house was zati's house den durg nyanyi lagi birthday song altogether with our guys apa..siuk laa..hmm..gonna mish it bwabzly ee and actually banyak lagi laa...

# 47 - my 1st room..masane..me baru jwa kenal orang-orang di sana tu..like from tembird esp tutong, kb and not only them, international students too from patani, indonesia, philippines and lots....baru kenal banar laa..n share wat dey noe and everytyn..it was fun banget..It was also my first assigment done in dis room- essay,project and stuffs..and fyi all my rooms were in funky colour..bukan ane sja..i was hiding in dis room too psl kesh my fren kna buli time ia birthday n siram2 all those silly things kami buat..biliknya macam kapal pacah kami buat..hancur laa abis basah biliknya..kes rejam..ahaha..yth kana bubut tu leh dyg erra..ehehe..jangan mare aa..

~under my umbrella..ella..ellaa..hehe~

~view from hostel's garden~

~PC room- for those hostellite who dont have computer, printer etc that relates to stationery i mean..dis is the place wer they can settle their tings and stuffs..and also wer RESCO or JASA (one big club in hostel) do their own stuff there..

~jalan menuju ke blok seterusnya~

~a path walk way to F5~

F1- dis is my year 2 block..kira jauh laa jwa berjalan ne but u can see it from hostel's foyer..while i was live in dis block mcm2 jadi laa..sweet memory but more to complicts especially in my 2nd semester of year 2 and yeaa..i learnt alots of info here about foods, diet, how to settle problems, sports and many more..

#7 - i started to active myself by involved any community like volunteering in RESCO..dikir club, badminton..and many of positions i had join..other than that, i got many of projects to be pass up early..sambil2 itu i got roses made by tissue..hmm..wawaa..long story...

~tempat santai kami..time main monopoly, lepaking, watching tv, gossiping, doing projects and many more..~

~actually it was rain but it didnt look lyk...a way to go to block f1~

~garden- infront of our canteen~

~plants..last view of hostel's garden~

~path walk way to block F2, F3, F5 and F6 for year 1 ,3 and 4~

F2 - well..dis was my year 3 block..memories..memories..apa aa di sini ne..i closed with my new fren and she always supported me in whenever i do or not plus advised me and shared anytyn especially story except cloths aa and she rily help me alot..thanx fren *wink*...u noe who u r..and in dis block i learned to do art..mcm2 laa me buat till i fell in love with it plus i miss my sir very much and mom angkat teacher Faizah..*hugs hugs bwabzly* she was a very good mother angkat i had..she liked to counsel me especially about life and academic..love her!!

#24 - my 1st room in year 3, funny things were happen even it was rily pain..al maklum laa kan..nda semua katil di hostel ane baik..and in year 3 i got dis very bad bed..mula2 tu ok laa dis bed macam org jwa kan..dah tu sudah lama aduuy..robohtah saja..yth kan..one nyt, when i had quarrel with my old boyfriend..yth kan tgh sedih gulana laa katakan..nanes berejam-jam mcm si palui bengkak mata pai kul 3 pagi yo...ahahah...kira nanes atu cubalaa bagi laa peluang tuk menghayati ka apa aa..ne cibuk2 tah jwa my bed ne roboh..spoilt mati laa masa tu..lyk i laughed bwabzly dat dawn..stupid eh..ahaha..udahtah naleh nanez ne berguringtangan tah lagi bunyi katil roboh nda pedah2 btukang tym subuh2..ahaha..caliie laa..and masa tu i said i got stomache and luka dlm tapi sebenarnya it was lie..i haf to coz to prevent any pain agen and agen from u..sorry but u shud regret in wat were u doing dat tym..change..

#35 - i moved to dis room..and this room gave me big PEACE.. i love dis room very much..no pain..no damn..no hurt but only small stupid complicts and more to happiness..yehaa!! i felt dat i lived in hostel for a short time..nda terasa banaar laa..lyk my mum said "aikss..taun 3 ko sudah..kajap asanya eh" and i kept saying it every i moved to another year..wow!! in my mind always said work hard!! i need job!! i didnt want to study anymore!! kira kesh naleh baa udah tu ertinya..tapi kan f ada rezeki nakkan ditolak ryt?...hehe..

F3 - waa!! my final year block...yehaa~aribaa~ here I was rily freedom..u see there chair and table..the last 2 days of the day i captured this pic, we're having small farewell party..ehehe..AJKz were doin their responsibilities included me..i was being handle PA system part..so as usual laa kan..partay..so I played party song..bek nasib nada dj's stuff atu mun nda, blue angel pun kut kali ee menari..*only hostellite noe whos's blue angel* apa2 pun byk plg lagi tables dluar atu..bbQ stuff apa lagi..paparazzi *perasan jwa udah tu* jwa nda lupa bergambar..but i cant upload dat pics psl sebab2 terntu..eseehh...mcm govt matters sja bunyinya..hehe

#2 - my final room!! i miss it alot!!..dis one no worst bed aa..bagus and tahan lasak...apadeehh..this room where i was doing my ABM, LP, WORKS for my students and my last2 assigment too..uwaaaa!! and..and..my last EXAM!! so far i got good grade..alhamdulillah..apa kata org.."dimana ada kemahuan, di situ ada jalan" and wen i was having my TP, i also got new frens and new word...i got this "APAADEEHH" from my student but i actually i used it rarely 1st but den..mcm 1 whole class said apaaadeeeh...ahahah!! misshh u all students!! jgn kamu jahati tu cgu kasih sayang aa..dat's ur mom u noe..u need respecto!! mwaahz!!

~tangga di hostel..abis ne waa digambar..hehe~

~my all stuff..banyak kan barang me atu..baru ane..alaa dapatan cha nyeludup cigaratte aa..hehe..nada laa it's just a box meh~

~my other stuffs agen..baju g bampaian bru yg bhanger belum lagi yang dalam bags..hehe byk my stuff in purple colour..i luff purple!! hehe.. ane terpaksa numpang di bilik hana, hana balik wal dah aa..and i was waiting my bro and sis like an hour ne baa..pai tertido ite dibuatnya..iskh2..but thanx to hana to let me stay at ur old room for awhile..~

~my last coupon in hostel and the date of i was leaving the hostel~

~the last key of my room..mish it!!~

~my last mirror with my name and my fren..luff! luff!~

**mish with everything i had before..the moments..lecturers..rooms..frens..community..and many more..i wish to turn back time to solve something dat i couldn't and any of pain memories, i want to erase it..but wat to do..time always goes by..**

~It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do."

If you do not hope, you will not find what is beyond your hopes..~

lots of luff,

last at SMR

2009-05-24T02:44:00.001-07:00

salam..yuhuu...muchi buchi~

uwaaa!!!windu eee...SMR..SMR!! *sob sob!*my last TP on 16th May, 2009 (Sat)..d day my sis's birthday..gonaa mish u all teachers and students..dun forget abt me yeaa..hmm..this is the only memory dat i haf with u people..nda laa tau bila lagi tani kan bjumpa..jumpa pun tagur2 ee..nda tah kira tu either long distance or short..n f u people ada annual dinner or something..dun forget to invite us yeaa..ehehe..anyway those are our pics during our farewell...u may copy from ere..thanx yeaa y'all..mwahz!!

~from left -cikgu Hida, cikgu Hawati *f m not mistaken..hehe..sorry cikgu*, cikgu Susanty, cikgu Indra *fyi f u people want to order cake..u may order it from her..maju bisnis..hehe*, emma (me), sis Haya, cikgu Jeedah, cikgu Tini...1st row- cikgu Dk Tini,.. cikgu..err..nt sure her name..*sorry* and cikgu Erni ..anyway..i tagged u people through fb tue~

~cikgu Erni and me~

~cikgu..err...dunno her name *sorry*, sis Haya, yuniza & sis Jubai~

~cikgu Sally..eseehh..anggun ee..kata cikgu Saiful ..mcm orang kaja dKastam dh ne..hehe..windu ku kan kita menyanyi aa..masih menyanyi ka?..baa teruskan lagi..mana tau kna jemput pat org kawin ka apa..famous jwa..mun ada profit..jgn lupa aa..20%..hehe~

~me and dyana..*sowy lampau ampir baa..cnatah jwa..gambar sendiri2 ne baa..kweng3 p jgn silap masih melecun..apadeehhh~

~cikgu Jeedah dengan pinggannya plus cikgu Tini...mun boleh ia ketawa masa ne..control cikgu Tini..krg kena tagur oleh cdia..ehehe..sapa tu aa~

~bro Zamin and cikgu Saiful -mereka ini manager perkhidmatan bouncer..jika sesiapa mau mengorder bouncer..sila contact mereka melalui saya..hehe*kata cikgu Saiful plg tu kaja bouncer aa..hehe..jangan mare~

~4E students..dengan aksi mereka~

~awg dhiyaulhaq aka taufiq..*antah lurus ka jwa ejaannya tu*~

~bertuah2 durg ne..mun bab pasal gambar ukan men baa~

~1...2....3....click..~

~m not sure wat kind of game is dat*yang ada datas meja tu*~

.....

~1st row- sis Jubay, Maulidatul, Irda, Deezah, sis Jah Haya and 2nd row -yuniza, othmaliana and me~

~Zulfadli, bro Zamin, Yuniza and me~

**Thanx for everything yeaa..honestly..i haf lots of thing that i learn from u people..I learned from a small tiny thing till I can make myself understand and discover how to get the best one and no matter how hard u give me knowledge even it looks simple apparently it's not but still u manage to do so and I believe that every right implies a responsibility; every opportunity an obligation; every possession, a duty..and good luck to u all..do something that comes from ur heart..cheerss..**

lots of luff,

kahkahkahkah...

2009-05-21T08:11:00.000-07:00

MUTHU & THE INTERVIEWER*

Interviewer: 'What is your birth date?'
Muthu : '13th October.'
Interviewer : 'Which year?'
Muthu : 'Every year.'
*****

*MUTHU & HIS MANAGER*

The Manager asked Muthu at an interview.....
'Can you spell a word that has more than 100 letters in it?'
Muthu replied: 'P-O-S-T-B-O-X.'
*****

*MUTHU & LONDON TRIP*
After returning from a foreign trip, Muthu asked his wife, 'Do I look like a foreigner?'
Wife: 'No! Why?'
Muthu : 'In London , a lady asked me, 'Are you a foreigner?
'... that's why.'
Wife : ?????????
*****

*MUTHU & TOURIST*
A tourist from U.S.A. asked Muthu whether any great man was born in his village...
Muthu said, 'No sir, only babies were born here.'
*****

*MUTHU & HIS EXPERIMENT*
Muthu was doing an experiment with a cockroach. First he cut off one leg and told it to 'WALK! WALK!'
The cockroach walked. Then he cut off it's second leg and told the same. The cockroach walked.
Then he cut off the third leg and did the same.
Finally, he cut off its fourth leg and ordered it walk!
But the cockroach didn't walk.
Suddenly, Muthu said loudly, 'I found it. If we cut a cockroach's four legs, it becomes deaf.'
*****

*MUTHU & DRIVER*
When Muthu was travelling with his wife in a motorised tricycle, thedriver adjusted the mirror.
Muthu shouted, 'You are trying to see my wife, eh? Sit in the back.
I will drive.'
*****

*MUTHU GOES TO HOTEL*
Muthu went into a hotel. To wash his hands, he went to the washbasin.
Then when he had finished, he started washing the basin.
Seeing this, the manager asked what was he doing.
Muthu pointed towards the signboard

'* WASH BASIN * '
*****

*MUTHU & INTERVIEWER - FINAL PART*
Interviewer : 'Just imagine you're in the 20th floor of a building and it's on fire. How will you escape?'
Muthu: 'It's simple.. I will just stop my imagination.'
*****

*Oh... Lest I forget ............. the funniest...*

At a political rally, Muthu was arrested. Why????????????
Because a lady journalist with a badge which read '*PRESS*' pinned on the right part of her blouse walked past him... and he did it!

lots of luff,

kahkahkahkah...

2009-05-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

Alahai Mak Cik........
Suatu hari..seorang Makcik menyewakan salah satu biliknya untuk seorang pemuda penyelidik nak buat kajian kat kampungnyer..
Penyelidik yang dah bersetuju tu pun menyewa la..
Malam tu..
Time penyelidik tu nak mandi..maklum ler bilik air kampung..
Dah tu dia tu..hensem lagi..muda lagi..
Makcik tu pun "semacam" ler...dia pun nak pi ngendap si anak muda nie mandi....
Makcik nie kantoi sekali..oleh pemuda tu..
Kali keduanya pun kantoi..nak ngendap nie....
Kali ketiganya..pemuda tu naik bengang dan bagi warning..
" Kalau makcik ngendap saya sekali lagi...saya rogol makcik!!!"
Kemudian..makcik tu keluarkan jari kelingking dan berkata..

" JANJI TAU..!!"..

================

Burung Spesel

Pada suatu hari sorang suami baru pulang dari Brazil , membawa burung kakak tua yang sangatlah spesel..
Si isteri bertanya..pada si suami...
" Abang..buat aper beli burung tu..?! Kan mahal tu..!"
Suami menjawab..
" Ala takper..burung ni spesel..tengok nie.."
Suaminya mengangkat tangan kanan dan memetik jarinya.....burung itu terus menyanyi lagu POP..
Si isteri sangat suka..dan menyuruh suaminya mengangkat tangan kiri plak..
Si suami..berbuat demikian dan memetik jarinya. dan burung itu terus menyanyi lagu ROCK pula..
Si isteri pun suka dan bertanya..
" Abang, kalau kita angkat kedua-dua tangan plak camner..?"
Suaminya menjawab.." Awak cuba la buat.."
Si isteri mengangkat kedua2 tangannya dan memetik jarinya..lalu..burung itu pun berkata...

" SATU SATU LAH, BODOH..!!! "

==================

mengandung anak gajah??????

Seorang lelaki yang badannya gendut naik kereta api. Penumpang sangat penuh maka lelaki itu
terpaksa berdiri. Dia merasa ada yang menyenggolnya lalu lelaki itupun melihat kebelakang. Ada seorang ibu hamil yang juga sedang berdiri. Melihat wanita hamil itu maka lelaki bertanya pada wanita itu :

Lelaki: Hi... kak ak hamil ya ?
Ibu hamil : Iya udah tahu tanya lagi (kata wanita dengan nada kesal)

Lelaki: Isinya orang ya, kak ?
Ibu hamil : Iya (dengan nada kesal lalu bertanya)Encik hamil juga ya?

Lelaki: Iya (Sambil ketawa)
Ibu hamil : (Karena merasa jawaban lelaki itu tidak sopan dia melanjutkan pertanyaannya) Isinya orang ya?

Lelaki: Bukan, isinya anak gajah (sambil ketawa lagi).
Ibu hamil : (terkejut, lalu ketawa)

Lelaki: Laa... kenapa ketawa? (dengan bingungnya)
Ibu hamil : Oh isinya anak gajah, ya... patutlah belalainya keluar( sambil menunjuk seluar lelaki
yang lupa dikancing)

Lelaki:???????????

=============

Skandal Doktor

Seorang lelaki yang kebetulan seorang doktor muda, merasa tidak selesa dengan apa yang telah berlaku.
Ia pulang ke rumah dengan wajah muram.
Setibanya di rumah, ia merebahkan diri di katil dan fikirannya mula melayang
Lalu ia mendengar suara dalam kepalanya berkata,
"Sudahlah, tidak usah difikirkan. Skandal doktor membuat hubungan intim dengan pesakit terjadi di mana-mana.
Jadi kamu tidak perlu merasa bimbang."
Doktor tersebut cuba untuk setuju, tapi apa yang telah terjadi pagi itu terbayang kembali dan perasaan tidak selesa muncul lagi.
Ia membalikkan badan dan mendengar lagi suara dalam kepalanya,
Tak perlu bimbang,orang sudah mula biasa dengan skandal hubungan seksual antara doktor dan pesakitnya."
Lelaki itu mulai tenang dan perasaannya beransur-ansur pulih...
Tiba-tiba suara lain dalam kepalanya berkata,
"Tapi masalahnya kamu kan doktor haiwan"

lots of luff,

fotosut..hehe

2009-05-18T04:55:00.000-07:00

hey..we all are having lots of pleasure time..*tia karang*..dis is the only time we haf to fulfill our dreams..yeaa..dreamsss...having photoshoot together..i mishhh dis moment bwabsly..uwaa!! *ngusut!-datang cha penyakitnya hana said* hehe..what ever it is..gurlss..dun ever forget dis moment yeaa..actually der r many of our pics and i only choose which d best from the photographer...btw thanx to adi fudge dat gave his pleasure time for us..thanx banget2..so far as we can see our pics were awesome and it comes from adi...thanx alot..

** keep ur precious time with ur frens...u dunno wen u can spend your time with them again..keep in touch gurlss..love u all~**

lots of luff,

1 special nyt...apadeeh..

2009-05-18T00:41:00.000-07:00

Salam people..muchi buchi..~

Rasa-rasa macam a week plus ryt..me nda update my blog ne..udahtah nda update..my rank pun turun ne baa..kweng3..mm..doesnt matter laa yang penting kita enjoy..wawawa...so now I'm having a very long holiday tym *apaknzz..mcm semcmth jwa..kuikuikui*..I am rily exciting banget.. i haf few pics below here..it happened in March or April i guess..lama dh kan..baru me transfer pics ne from my camera..as u can see..we all rily have fun dat night..buang tabiat ada..buang toxic apa *apadeeh*..ehehe..*no idea* dududu...enjoy..

~in dijah's room -erra,qilah,dijah n hana~

~hana,qilah,dijah,me n erra *mgasak kan bergambar ne waa~

~waduuhh2...kamu kok gambar sakan sih..nway fyi..we luff camera bwabzly..yikes!!~

~me n erra..some people say we r sisters..rilly? wat do u tink people? are we look like sisters or twin? hmm??~

~are we ready gurlzz??~

~y are u people look so serious?? wondering..n so do I...y?? y?? kesh mua cari pasal laa tuh..wawawa.. ndatah kamu tau tu kami ne sapa..alum kami takut tu mun ganya familymu dang..anak mafia ka..anak sarifdol ka..anak pinang sebatang ka..mun ganya mulutmu yang belabih atu luan bachau2 bektah ko betasbih dang..dpt jwa pahala..apadeehh..mgasi ka scriptku atu? kweng3~

~uwaaa!! luan laju ka slow speedku atu..eseehh mcm bana sja~

~Aqilah and uncle Sam~

~happy ya erra aa..hehe~

~dengan gaya anggunnya dyg hana...eseseehh~

~aaaaaa!!! apadeehhh~

~bahapa kamu aa..men garfutah plg..astee~

~solly nek lorry kamu aa..no place wer to go baa..last2 d only idea..we're going to taurean agen..n for me..it's still the best place plg tu..other places pun not bad laa jwa but here..me dah besa baa..u can get cheapest price..mcm banaa sja..uweeekk!!~

~khadijah~

**fill ur life with happiness *wink*~~**

lots of luff,

kahkahkahkah...

2009-05-01T03:07:00.000-07:00

CERPEN LAWAK - Mencari Calon Isteri

Ceritanya begini, suatu hari di Kampung Pandan, Kuala Lumpur, ada seorang ibu yang gusar kerana anak sulung lelakinya tak kawin-kawin lagi, so satu hari, si ibu pun bawalah calon-calon yang dirasakan sesuai untuk menjadi bakal menantunya, dia pun menjemput kesemuanya kedalam rumahnya. Lalu memanggil anak sulong lelakinya untuk memilih yang mana-mana dia berkenan.

CALON PERTAMA:

Ciri-ciri : Kulit cerah, rambut ikal mayang, pipi gebu, BUKIT besar! BUMPER menggiurkan ala JLo.
Pekerjaan : Operator telefon merangkap receptionist.

Si anak lelaki menolak calon pertama. Si ibu bertanya mengapa dia menolak, lalu si anaknya pun berkata;
“Ala Mak…nih tak syiioookkkk….dia nih selalu cakap SILA TUNGGU SEBENTAR,TUNGGU SEBENTAR.”

CALON KEDUA:

Ciri-ciri : Kulit sawa matang, mata bulat dan besar, badan 100% bergetah, BUKITnya Just nice, BUMPERnya boleh tahan.
Pekerjaan : Setiausaha.

Lalu si anak lelaki berkata;

“Nih lagi tak syyiiiooookkkk…asyik-asyik HARAP BERSABAR…BERSABAR.”
Si ibu pun gelisah kerana kebanyakkan calon yang ditunjukkan tidak memenuhi kriteria anak lelakinya. Lalu dia pun menjemput calon terakhir…

CALON TERAKHIR:

Ciri-ciri : Kulit gelap-gelita, mata sepet sikit, badan 99.99999% bergetah, BUKITnya kurang memuaskan, BUMPERnya flat.
Pekerjaan : Guru.

Tanpa segan silu dan memikir panjang lalu si anak lelaki ini terus bersetuju untuk memilih calon ini. Lalu si ibu pun pening kepala lalu bertanya kepada anak lelakinya mengapa dipilih calon ini?
Lalu anaknya pun memberitahu;

“Hah! mak nih la syyiookkk sikit… kalau cikgu best sikit. Pasal dia selalu cakap ULANG SEKALI LAGI, BUAT BANYAK-BANYAK, SALAH NIH, BUAT MACAM NIH 10 KALI LAGI, TERUSKAN.. HAH.. TERUSKAN DAH BETUL TUH…”

---
Tiba-tiba adik lelaki tersebut yang berumur 10 tahun menyampuk.

“Bang!!! Konduktor bas mini lagi bagus bang! Diorang selalu cakap ”NAIK CEPAT, NAIK CEPAT… MASUK, MASUK… MASUK LAGI, DALAM LAGI… DALAM LAGILAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, MASUK BELAKANG... BELAKANG LAGI, LAGI BELAKANG SANA… BELAKANG BANYAK KOSONG!"

**apa-apa pun ia adalah satu hiburan sahaja yang tidak kena mengena antara hidup dan mati..no offence yeaa**

lots of luff,

tempat riadah

2009-04-30T23:54:00.000-07:00

salam..muchi..muchi people..

waa..lama dah me nda update ee..jarang dah on9 laa baa..f ada pun checking up saja..well..there are lot of things dat i do..pics the bawah ne pun was in march..school holiday..lambat kan me update tu..hehe..and nda lagi teredit tu pics ne..but its okay..masih lagi dapat dijadikan untuk tatapan readers..m just telling u all dat di Bandar Brunei ne sebenarnya banyak lagi tempat riadah..ganya kita nada masa laa kan beriadah ne..tapi kebiasaanya orang kan beriadah ini pagi (6-7ish am) and petang (4-7pm) saja..i just want to give u all idea where u want to haf ur jog time, exercise time, cycling time and banyak lagi laa yang boleh tempat-tempat itu..i tink u all ada sudah merasai some of place ini and some r not, ryt? so, better you all cuba all of these places and bring along ur frens maybe or family to cheer the moment..nda salah baa jogging ramai-ramai..the more the merrier maa..boring jwa tu jog sorang-sorang karang kena kacaw..eseehh..f mau kena kacaw..its up to you..ahakkzz!! well..you may see the pics down here first then decide where you want to go..vbut sorry yea..nda banyak pics..hehe..enjoy!!

JALAN MUARA NEAR TO HIGHWAY

well..actually, dis place no name coz it is new and oso suppose this place digunakan untuk membuat bangunan kerajaan so inda jadi i tink and last jadi mcm padang and setiap petang, ramai orang exercise di sini..you can find it along jalan muara near pusat pembangunan belia-belia (PPBB).

BUKIT SHAHBANDAR

TAMAN DAMUAN

TASEK LAMA

NEAR SHERATON HOTEL

actually i dunno its name..but this place is a good place too..kebiasaannya orang-orang cina selalu exercise di sini..so you all can try meh.,

STADIUM HASSANAL BOLKIAH, BERAKAS

**ENJOY UR DAY PEOPLE..CHEERZ!!**

lots of luff,

kahkahkahkah...

2009-04-30T22:46:00.000-07:00

Di suatu kawasan pedalaman di Kedah, seorang penternak yang mempunyai ladang ternak yang luas dan berjaya telah meninggal dunia dengan meninggalkan seorang balu yang masih muda dan cantik, namanya Minah. Minah membuat keputusan untuk meneruskan kerjaya suaminya dengan mengambil alih ladang ternakan tersebut, tetapi dia tidak mempunyai kemahiran yang cukup untuk mengendalikan ladangnya. Jadi dia pun membuat keputusan untuk mengiklankan di dalam akhbar untuk mencari seorang pembantu yang akan mengerjakan ladang ternaknya dengan menawarkan gaji dan sebuah bilik di rumahnya sebagai tempat kediaman memandangkan ladang yang dimaksudkan hanya berada di belakang rumahnya.

Selang beberapa hari kemudian ada dua orang pemuda yang memohon kerjaan tersebut. Seorang pondan, dan seorang kaki mabuk. Memandangkan tiada sesiapa lagi yang memohon jawatan tersebut selain dari dua orang pemuda tadi, Minah terpaksa memilih salah seorang dari mereka. Setelah menimbangkan semasak-masaknya, Minah memilih si pondan bernama Leman untuk bekerja dengannya, dengan anggapan bahawa dia berasa lebih selamat tinggal bersama seorang pondan daripada tinggal dengan seorang pemabuk.

Minggu demi minggu berlalu. Leman telah melakukan tugasnya dengan penuh tekun dan rajin. Leman kerap kali menghabiskan waktunya sehingga malam untuk membuat kerja-kerja di ladang ternakan. Ladangnya menjadi semakin berjaya dan ternakan semakin banyak membiak dan sihat-sihat belaka. Gembiralah si Minah ni tadi.

Kerana ingin menghargai kerajinan si Leman ni, Minah pun berkata kepada Leman, "Leman, kau telah melakukan kerja dengan baik dan ladang ternakan pun kulihat semakin bagus, kau sepatutnya ambil cuti pergi ke pekan berjalan-jalan untuk melegakan tekanan kerja..."

Gembiralah Leman, dan pada suatu malam minggu, dia pun pergi ke pekan. Sampailah ke tengah malam, Leman tak pulang-pulang ke rumah. Pukul 1 tak pulang, pukul 2 tak pulang. Pukul 2.30 pagi barulah Leman
pulang kerumah..

Sampai ke rumah, di dapati minah sedang menunggunya sambil duduk di sofa berhampiran unggun api.

"Buka butang bajuku dan tanggalkannya." Kata Minah.

Leman dengan tangan yang terketar-ketar dan perasaan yang terkejut, melakukan apa yang diarahkan.

"Sekarang, buka kasut but ku."

Leman buat, perlahan sekali.

"Buka, setokin ku.." Dia buat juga.

"Sekarang, buka skirt ku." Dia buat juga.

"Sekarang buka coliku." Dengan tangan yang menggigil, dia buat apa yang disuruh.

"Sekarang....buka seluar dalamku..." Dengan perlahan, dia melucutkannya ke bawah dan menanggalkannya.

Kemudian, Minah pun memandang Leman, sambil berkata...

"Sekali lagi kau pergi pekan dengan memakai pakaian aku, aku pecat kau on the spot."

lots of luff,

kahkahkahkah..karangan ..

2009-04-30T21:58:00.000-07:00

Pagi itu pagi minggu. Cuaca cukup sejuk sehingga mencapai takat suhu beku.Sebab itu saya tidak mandi pagi sebab air kolah jadi air batu dan air paip tidak mahu keluar sebab beku di dalam batang paip. Pagi itu saya bersarapan dengan keluarga di dalam unggun api kerana tidak tahan sejuk. Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya menemaninya ke pasar. Tetapi saya tidak mahu. Selepas emak menikam perut saya berkali-kali dengan garfu barulah saya bersetuju untuk mengikutnya.

Kami berjalan sejauh 120 kilometer kerana pasar itu letaknya 128 kilometer dari rumah. Lagi 8 kilometer nak sampai pasar saya ternampak sebuah lori kontena meluru dengan laju dari arah belakang. Dia melanggar emak saya. Emak saya tercampak ke dalam gaung. Dia$ menjerit "Adoi!". Lepas itu emak saya naik semula dan mengejar lori tersebut. Saya pun turut berlari di belakang emak saya kerana takut emak saya melanggar lori itu pula.

Pemandu lori itu nampak kami mengejarnya. Dia pun memecut lebih laju iaitu sama dengan kelajuan cahaya. Kami pula terpaksa mengejar dengan lebih laju iaitu sama dengan dua kali ganda kelajuan cahaya. Emak saya dapat menerajang tayar depan lori itu. Lori itu terbabas dan melanggar pembahagi jalan lalu bertembung dengan sebuah feri. Feri itu terbelah dua. Penumpang feri itu yang seramai 100 orang semuanya mati. Pemandu feri itu sangat marah. Dia pun bertukar menjadi Ultraman dan memfire pemandu lori.

Pemandu lori menekan butang khas di dalam lori dia..lori itu bertukar menjadi robot Transformer. Mereka bergaduh di udara. Emak saya tidak puas hati. Dia pun terus menyewa sebuah helikopter di Genting Highlands dan terus ke tempat kemalangan. Dia melanggar pemandu feri yang telah bertukar menjadi Ultraman itu. Pemandu feri itu terkejut dan terus bertukar menjadi pemandu feri semula lalu terhempas ke jalanraya. Pemandu feri itu pecah. Pemandu lori sangat takut melihat kejadian itu. Dia meminta maaf dari emak saya. Dia menghulurkan tangan ingin bersalam.

Tetapi emak saya masih marah. Dia menyendengkan helikopternya dan mengerat tangan pemandu lori itu dengan kipas helikopter. Pemandu lori itu menjerit "Adoi..!" dan jatuh ke bumi. Emak say menghantar helikopter itu ke Genting Highlands. Bila dia balik ke tempat kejadian, dia terus memukul pemandu lori itu dengan beg tangannya ambil memarahi pemandu lori itu di dalam bahasa Inggeris. Pemandu lori itu tidak dapat menjawab sebab emak saya cakap orang putih. Lalu pemandu lori itu mati. Tidak lama kemudian kereta polis pun sampai. Dia membuat lapuran ke ibu pejabatnya tentang kemalangan ngeri itu. Semua anggota polis di pejabat polis itu terperanjat lalu mati. Orang ramai mengerumuni tempat kejadian kerana ingin mengetahui apa yang telah terjadi.

Polis yang bertugas cuba menyuraikan orang ramai lalu dia menjerit menggunakan pembesar suara. Orang ramai terperanjat dan semuanya mati.Selepas itu emak saya mengajak saya ke pasar untuk mengelak lebih ramai lagi yang akan mati. Di pasar, emak saya menceritakan kejadian itu kepada penjual daging. Penjual daging dan peniaga-peniaga berhampiran yang mendengar cerita itu semuanya terkejut dan mati. Saya dan emak saya terus berlari balik ke rumah. Kerana terlalu penat sebaik saja sampai di rumah kami pun mati. Itulah kemalangan yang paling ngeri yang pernah saya lihat sebelum saya mati.

**the moral of the story: u shud guide ur brothers or sisters when they do their homework and f u re teacher better u check ur student's composition immediately..they might do the same mistake f u re nt check their work**

lots of luff,

kahkahkahkah...

2009-04-30T21:44:00.000-07:00

There was a Chinese lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in London. The poor lady was not very proficient inEnglish, but managed somehow to communicate with her husband. The real problem arose whenever
she had to shop for groceries.

One day, she went to the butcher and wanted to buy
pork legs. She didn't know how to put forward her request, and in
desperation, lifted up her skirt to show her thighs. The butcher got the
message and the lady went home with pork legs.

The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts. Again, she didn't know
how to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to
show the butcher her breast. The lady got what she wanted.

The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.
She brought her husband to the store........... so what did she do?
??
??
??
??
??
??
??
??
??

What are you thinking?

??
??
??
??
??
??
??
HellOOOooooooOOOooo, her husband speaks English laa!!

lots of luff,

seram

2009-04-30T21:13:00.000-07:00

.: Luasnya Neraka :.

Yazid Arraqqasyi dari Anas bin Malik ra. berkata: Jibrail datang kepada Nabi saw pada waktu yg ia tidak biasa datang dalam keadaan berubah mukanya,

maka ditanya oleh nabi s.a.w.: 'Mengapa aku melihat kau berubah muka?'

Jawabnya: 'Ya Muhammad, aku datang kepadamu di saat Allah menyuruh supaya dikobarkan penyalaan api neraka, maka tidak layak bagi orang yg mengetahui bahawa neraka Jahannam itu benar, dan siksa kubur itu benar, dan siksa Allah itu terbesar untuk bersuka-suka sebelum ia merasa
aman dari padanya.'

Lalu nabi s.a.w. bersabda: 'Ya Jibrail, jelaskan padaku sifat
Jahannam.'

Jawabnya: 'Ya. Ketika Allah menjadikan Jahannam, maka dinyalakan selama seribu tahun, sehingga merah, kemudian dilanjutkan seribu tahun sehingga putih, kemudian seribu tahun sehingga hitam, maka ia hitam gelap, tidak pernah padam nyala dan baranya. Demi Allah yg mengutus engkau dengan hak, andaikan terbuka sebesar lubang jarum nescaya akan dapat membakar penduduk dunia semuanya kerana panasnya.

Demi Allah yg mengutus engkau dengan hak, andaikan satu baju ahli neraka itu digantung di antara langit dan bumi nescaya akan mati penduduk bumi kerana panas dan basinya.

Demi Allah yg mengutus engkau dengan hak, andaikan satu pergelangan dari rantai yg disebut dalam Al-Quran itu diletakkan di atas bukit, nescaya akan cair sampai ke bawah
bumi yg ke tujuh.

Demi Allah yg mengutus engkau dengan hak, andaikan seorang di hujung barat tersiksa, nescaya akan terbakar orang-orang yang di hujung timur kerana sangat panasnya, Jahannam itu sangat dalam dan perhiasannya besi dan minumannya air panas campur nanah dan pakaiannya potongan-potongan api.

Api neraka itu ada tujuh pintu, tiap-tiap pintu ada bahagiannya yang tertentu dari orang laki-laki dan perempuan.'

Nabi s.a.w. bertanya: 'Apakah pintu-pintunya bagaikan pintu-pintu rumah kami?'

Jawabnya: 'Tidak, tetapi selalu terbuka, setengahnya di
bawah dari lainnya, dari pintu ke pintu jarak perjalanan 70,000 tahun, tiap pintu lebih panas dari yang lain 70 kali ganda.' (nota kefahaman: iaitu yg lebih bawah lebih panas)

Tanya Rasulullah s.a.w.: 'Siapakah penduduk masing-masing pintu?'
Jawab Jibrail:
'Pintu yg terbawah untuk orang-orang munafik, dan orang-orang yg kafir setelah diturunkan hidangan mukjizat nabi Isa a.s. serta keluarga Fir'aun sedang namanya Al-Hawiyah.
Pintu kedua tempat orang-orang musyrikin bernama Jahim,

Pintu ketiga tempat orang shobi'in bernama Saqar.

Pintu ke empat tempat Iblis dan pengikutnya dari kaum majusi bernama Ladha,

Pintu kelima orang yahudi bernama Huthomah.

Pintu ke enam tempat orang nasara bernama Sa'eir.'

Kemudian Jibrail diam segan pada Rasulullah s.a.w. sehingga ditanya: 'Mengapa tidak kau terangkan penduduk pintu ke tujuh?'

Jawabnya: 'Di dalamnya orang-orang yg berdosa besar dari ummatmu yg sampai mati belum sempat bertaubat.'

Maka nabi s.a.w. jatuh pingsan ketika mendengar keterangan itu, sehingga Jibrail meletakkan kepala nabi s.a.w. di pangkuannya sehingga sedar kembali dan

sesudah sadar nabi saw bersabda: 'Ya Jibrail, sungguh besar kerisauanku dan sangat sedihku, apakah ada seorang dari ummat ku yang akan masuk ke dalam neraka?'

Jawabnya: 'Ya, iaitu orang yg berdosa besar dari ummatmu.'

Kemudian nabi s.a.w. menangis, Jibrail juga menangis, kemudian nabi s.a.w. masuk ke dalam rumahnya dan tidak keluar kecuali untuk sembahyang kemudian kembali dan tidak berbicara dengan orang dan bila sembahyang
selalu menangis dan minta kepada Allah.(dipetik dari kitab 'Peringatan Bagi Yg Lalai')

Dari Hadith Qudsi: Bagaimana kamu masih boleh melakukan maksiat sedangkan kamu tak dapat bertahan dengan panasnya terik matahari Ku.

Tahukah kamu bahawa neraka jahanamKu itu:

1. Neraka Jahanam itu mempunyai 7 tingkat

2. Setiap tingkat mempunyai 70,000 daerah

3. Setiap daerah mempunyai 70,000 kampung

4. Setiap kampung mempunyai 70,000 rumah

5. Setiap rumah mempunyai 70,000 bilik

6. Setiap bilik mempunyai 70,000 kotak

7. Setiap kotak mempunyai 70,000 batang pokok zarqum

8. Di bawah setiap pokok zarqum mempunyai 70,000 ekor
ular

9. Di dalam mulut setiap ular yang panjang 70 hasta
mengandungi lautan racun yang hitam pekat.

10. Juga di bawah setiap pokok zarqum mempunyai
70,000 rantai

11. Setiap rantai diseret oleh 70,000 malaikat

Mudah-mudahan ini dapat menimbulkan keinsafan kepada kita semua.....Wallahua'lam.

Al-Quran Surah Al- Baqarah Ayat 159

Sesungguhnya orang-orang yang menyembunyikan apa yang telah Kami turunkan dari keterangan-keterangan dan petunjuk hidayat, sesudah Kami terangkannya kepada manusia di dalam Kitab Suci, mereka itu dilaknat oleh Allah dan dilaknat oleh sekalian makhluk.

lots of luff,

tips yooo~

2009-04-30T20:18:00.000-07:00

Petai contains three natural sugars -sucrose, fructose and glucose. Combined with fiber, petai gives an instant, sustained & substantial boost of energy. Research has proved that just two servings of petai provide enough energy for a strenuous 90-minute workout. No wonder petai is the number one fruit with the world's leading athletes. But energy isn't the only way petai can help us keep fit. It can also help overcome or prevent a substantial number of illnesses & conditions, making it a must to add to our daily diet.

Depression: According to a recent survey undertaken by MIND among people suffering from depression, many felt much better after eating petai. This is because petai contain tryptophan, a type of protein that the body converts into serotonin, known to make you relax, improve your mood & generally make you feel happier.

PMS(premenstrual syndrome): Forget the pills - eat petai. The vitamin B6 it contains regulates blood glucose levels, which can affect your mood.

Anaemia: High in iron, petai can stimulate the production of haemoglobin in the blood & so helps in cases of anaemia.

Blood Pressure: This unique tropical fruit is extremely high in potassium yet low in salt, making it perfect to beat blood pressure. So much so, the US Food & Drug Administration has just allowed the petai industry to make official claims for the fruit's ability to reduce the risk of blood pressure & stroke.

Brain Power : 200 students at a Twickenham (Middlesex) school were helped through their exams this year by eating petai at breakfast, break, & lunch in a bid to boost their brain power. Research has shown that the potassium-packed fruit can assist learning by making pupils more alert.

Constipation: High in fiber, including petai in the diet can help restore normal bowel action, helping to overcome the problem without resorting to laxatives.

Hangovers: One of the quickest ways of curing a hangover is to make a petai milkshake, sweetened with honey. The petai calms the stomach and, with the help of the honey, builds up depleted blood sugar levels, while the milk soothes & re-hydrates your system.

Heartburn: Petai has a natural antacid effect in the body, so if you suffer from heartburn, try eating petai for soothing relief.

Morning Sickness : Snacking on petai between meals helps to keep blood sugar levels up & avoid morning sickness.

Mosquito bites : Before reaching for the insect bite cream, try rubbing the affected area with the inside of the petai skin. Many people find it amazingly successful at reducing swelling and irritation.

Nerves: Petai is high in B vitamins that help calm the nervous system.

Overweight: Studies at the Institute of Psychology in Austria found pressure at work leads to gorging on comfort food like chocolate and crisps. Looking at 5,000 hospital patients, researchers found the most obese were more likely to be in high-pressure jobs. The report concluded that, to avoid panic-induced food cravings, we need to control our blood sugar levels by snacking on high carbohydrate foods every two hours to keep levels steady.

Ulcers: Petai is used as the dietary food against intestinal disorders because of its soft texture & smoothness. It is the only raw fruit that can be eaten without distress in over-chronicler cases. It also neutralizes over-acidity & reduces irritation by coating the lining of the stomach.

Temperature control : Many other cultures see petai as a "cooling" fruit that can lower both the physical & emotional temperature of expectant mothers. In hoiland, for example, pregnant women eat petai to ensure their baby is born with a cool temperature. Seasonal Affective

Disorder (SAD) : Petai can help SAD sufferers because they contain the natural mood enhancer, tryptophan.

Smoking: Petai can also help people trying to give up smoking. The B6, B12 they contain, as well as the potassium & magnesium found in them, help the body recover from the effects of nicotine withdrawal.

Stress: Potassium is a vital mineral, which helps normalize the heartbeat, sends oxygen to the brain & regulates your body's water balance. When we are stressed, our metabolic rate rises, thereby reducing our potassium levels. These can be rebalanced with the help of a high-potassium petai snack.

Strokes: According to research in "The New England Journal of Medicine, " eating petai as part of a regular diet can cut the risk of death by strokes by as much as 40%".

Warts: Those keen on natural alternatives swear that if you want to kill off a wart, take a piece of petai and place it on the wart. Carefully hold the petai in place with a plaster or surgical tape! So, as you can see, petai really is a natural remedy for many ills. When you compare it to an apple, it has 4 times the protein, twice the carbohydrates, 3 times the phosphorus, 5 times the vitamin A & iron, & twice the other vitamins and minerals. It is also rich in potassium & is one of the best value foods around. So maybe its time to change that well-known phrase so that we say, "A Petai a day keeps the doctor away".

lots of luff,